Father Lyrics - Hobo Johnson

Hi, uh-uhhh, what's up? My name's Frank 

Uh Hobo Johnson I hope you like this song 

I made it up for my dad, it's for you, Dad, hey 

My dad taught me 'bout 

The story 'bout the birds and the bees 

When the bees turn into wasps and take half of everything 

He sounded sure 

That a bird doesn't need a full nest 

But a bed for our bird heads to rest 

He told me son you'll never dunk (WHAT?) 

It's family tradition basketball is not for us 

Our legs just aren't that springy 

My great great uncle almost did but he didn't 

He told me son beware 

Of the monsters that roam the depths of your head 

Sometimes they'll make you real sad or 

Or real real mad, or real real jealous and 

That's real real bad, boy breathe 

Nicotine until you fall asleep like all of our family, breathe 

Nicotine until you fall asleep 

Like all of our family, like all of our family, like 

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I'm-I'm Will Smith mixed with Michael Cera 

I'm Will Smith, Michael Cera 

Kevin Spacey 

Michael Cera 

My father's married to a shape shifting monster 

Who can sometimes take the form 

Of a really really really nice woman 

And although that seems super fucking frightening 

Sometimes this scary monster makes 

A really really great vanilla pudding, he has courage 

But sometimes your courage isn't quite the kryptonite 

As the monster runs rampant through the house 

Sometimes your courage makes you feel strong 

But it seems as if the monster eats your muscles all along 

Fucking pickin out your self respect right out it's scary teeth 

Her breath smells like pride of self 

And other men she used to meet 

And the monster doesn't sleep just schemes and fiends 

On the next tasty meal it gets to eat 

It gets to eat, it gets to eat 

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I'm the new Will Smith 

I'm mixed with Kevin Spacy 

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What the fuck