Or So They Say Lyrics - Gilbert Osullivan

I've never been able 

To stand on a table 

Without using both of my feet 

I've always resisted 

The choice that was listed 

Whenever I sat down to eat 

Now don't think me rude 

But that dress is so low cut 

Your navel is sticking out 

And not that I'm curious 

But seeing how low yours is 

I wonder where mine is about 

I read in the newspapers only today 

That tomorrow's will be even better 

Liquid detergent is now guaranteed 

To absorb all the dirt from your sweater 

Or so they say 

We once had a neighbor 

Who came from Jamaica 

(No, she came of her own accord) 

Who talked with an accent 

Like that of a Dachshund 

Whose cousin the Queen had adored 

Oh how would you like it 

If I was invited 

To Lords on the first day of play 

I'm no Gary Sobers 

But I can bowl overs 

In quite an unorthodox way 

Now cricket's a game that can baffle us all 

It's the silly mid-on that gets me 

Silly or not, it's enthralling to watch 

Only maidens of course disagree 

Or so they say 

Life is so often a dullish affair 

It's no wonder that crime has increased 

What does it matter, if there's no hereafter 

We're here after all just to breathe 

Or so they say 

And as I finish playing 

This is my way of saying 

"The End"