Uncle Bernie's Farm Lyrics - Frank Zappa

Ray collins (vocals) 

Jimmy carl black (drums) 

Billy mundi (drums) 

Roy estrada (bass) 

Don preston (keyboards) 

Bunk gardner (woodwinds) 

Motorhead sherwood (soprano, baritone saxophone) 

(I'm dreaming...) 

There's a bomb to blow yo mommy up, 

A bomb for yo daddy too! (ouch!) 

A baby doll that burps 'n pees; 

A case of airplane glue! 

There's a hungry plastic troll, 

To scarf yo buddy's arm! 

There's a box of ugly plastic things marked: 

"uncle bernie's farm" 

Related 

Songs You Love If You Love Nerds 

From MetroLyrics to You: Our Classic Christmas Playlist 

5 Totally Underrated Christmas Songs 

There's a little plastic 'congress' 

There's a 'nation' you can buy! 

There's a doll that looks like mommy 

(she'll do anything but cry) (yes, sir) 

There's a doll that looks like daddy 

(he's a funny little man... 

Push a button 'n ask fo money: 

There's a dollar in his hand!) (check his wallet) 

We gotta send sanny claus back to de rescue mission! 

Christmas don't make it no more! 

Don'tcha know that murder an' destruction 

Scream de toys in every store! (I think this is sold in new york) 

Photos 

There's a man who runs the country 

There's a man who tried to think 

And they're all made out of plastic 

(when they melt, they start to stink) 

There's a book with smiling children, 

Nearly dead with christmas joys 

And smiling in his office 

Is the creep who makes 'the toys' 

(they got this car, when it hits the wall, you can see the guy dying 

You got little plastic pools of blood 

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho (I'm dreaming...) 

...intestines... you can see right into his stomach... 

There's this other thing, i... 

I got bombs, I got rockets, I got a, I got a stillson wrench 

And comes with a tape recorder... 

I got plastic brass knuckles 

With sound effects 

We got a '39 chevy...