The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary Lyrics - Studio Tan - Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals) 

George Duke (keyboards, vocals) 

Bruce Fowler (trombone) 

Tom Fowler (bass) 

Chester Thompson (drums) 

The adventures of GREGGERY PECCARY! 

Oh, here comes GREGGERY, 

Little GRECGERY PECCARY 

The nocturnal gregarious 

Wild swine 

A peccary 

Is a little pig 

With a white collar 

That usually hangs around 

Between Texas and Paraguay 

Sometimes ranging as far 

west as Catalina 

Related 

23 One Hit Wonders You Still Can't Get Out Of Your Head 

From MetroLyrics to You: Our Classic Christmas Playlist 

5 Totally Underrated Christmas Songs 

Catalina, Catalina, Catalina! 

This particular peccary 

Is part of that bold (bold), 

New (new) breed (breeding) 

That extinguishes itself 

By markings which resemble a 

WIDE TIE 

Directly below the 

White collar 

If it's white enough 

Everyone will know 

That the tie I'm wearing 

Is a symbol 

Of how nimble mv mind will know 

Ooh-ooh! 

(Swine suave!) 

Photos 

Look out! 

Here he comes again! 

Oh here comes GREGGERY PECCARY. 

Yes it's cravv, cravy, veah... 

Every morning, GREGGERY drives 

His little red Volkswagen to the ugly 

Part of town where they keep the Government Buildings. 

Voodn, Voodn! 

Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here! 

GREGGERY PECCARY takes the elevator 

Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim, 

Gray, evil-looking building 

With a sign on the front reading: 

'BIG SWIFTY ASSOCIATES. TREND-MONGERS'. 

And what, might you ask, is a TREND MONGER? 

Well, a TREND MONGER is a person 

who dreams up a TREND 

(Like 'The Twist' --- or 'Flower Power'), 

And spreads it throughout the land, 

Using all the frightening little skills 

That Science has made available! 

And so it was, one fateful morning, 

GREGGERY PECCARY made his way through the Steno Pool . . . 

Hi Mildred! 

Hello Gladys! 

WANDA! 

Yes, from the moment they laid 

eyes on him, 

All the girls in the BIG SWIFTY 

Steno Pool 

KNEW . . . 

Here was a 

Nocturnal, 

Gregarious 

Wild swine 

ON HIS WAY UP! 

A Peccary of Destiny, 

Adventure 

And 

ROMANCE! 

Is there any mail for me? 

SWIFTY'S! 

THIS IS BIG SWIFTY'S! 

AT BIG SWIFTY'S WE ALL KNOW-OW-OW 

YOU'LL GO 

FOR ANY GIMMICK OR GIZMO! 

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE INVOLVED 

IN A SERIES OF COLORFUL 

TIME-WASTINC TRENDS? 

AIR HOCKEY . . . biff . . . dush-h-h! 

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP 

IS YOUR WIFE SNORING BY THE SINK? 

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP 

AIN'T YOUR LIFE BORING, DON'TCHA THINK? 

YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP 

LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER 

WHEN THERE'S SOME LITTLE SOMETHING 

TO DO! 

Does it matter that this waste of time 

Is what makes a LIFE for you? Hmmmmm? 

I must plummet boldly 

forward 

To my ULTRA-AVANT 

Laminated, 

Simulated 

Replica-mahogany desk, 

With the strategically-placed, 

Imported, very hip water pipe, 

And the latest edition of the 

WHOLE EARTH CATALOG, 

And rack my agile mind 

For a spectacular 

NEW TREND, 

Thereby rejuvenating our limping 

economy, 

And providing 

For bored & miserable people 

everywhere 

Some great new 

'THING' 

To identify with.! 

WE HAVE GOT THE LITTLE ANSWERS 

TO THE THINGS 

THAT MIGHT' BE BOTHERING YOU! 

WE HAVE GOT YOUR LITTLE TOYS! 

(WE'RE BUSY MAKIN' 'EM!) 

BUSY MAKIN' 'EM, 

WE'RE BUSY MAKIN' 'EM, 

BUSY MAKIN' 'EM 

JUST FOR YOU! 

Yoo-hoo-hoo! 

Very efficient. Miss Snodgrass! 

And with that. 

GREGCERY turned 

And strode nonchalantly 

Into his dinky little office 

With the desk and the catalog 

And the very hip water pipe. 

And proceeded, 

With a vigor and determination 

Known only to piglets 

Of a similarly diminutive 

proportion, 

To single-handedly invent 

THE CALENDAR! 

With his eye rolled heaven-ward. 

and his little shiny pig-hoofs on the 

desk, GREGGERY ponders the 

question of ETERNITY (and fractional 

divisions thereof), as mysterious 

ANGELIC VOICES sing to him from a 

great distance, providing the 

necessary clues for the construction of 

this thrilling new TREND! 

SUNDAY 

Sunday? 

WOW! 

SUNDAY, 

'MONDAY 

SUNDAY, 

SATURDAY. . .TUESDAY THROUGH 

- MONDAY'! 

SATURDAY. . . 

And thus THE CALENDAR, 

In all of its colorful disguises 

Was presented to 

The bored & miserable people 

Everywhere! 

GREGCERY issued a memo on it. 

Whereupon the entire contents 

of the Steno Pool 

Identified with it STRENUOUSLY, 

And WORSHIPPED IT as a WAY OF LIFE, 

And took their little Pills by it. 

And went back 'n forth from 

work by it. 

And paid their rent by it, 

And before long they were even 

having 

BIRTHDAY PARTIES IN THE OFFICE 

by it, 

Because NOW. AT LAST, 

CRECGERY PECCARY's exciting new 

invention 

Had made it possible 

For everyone 

To find out 

HOW OLD THEY WERE! 

What hath GOD wrought? 

Unfortunately, 

There were some people 

Who simply DID NOT WISH TO 

KNOW, 

And that's why, 

On his way home from the office 

one night, 

GREGGERY was attacked 

By a RAGE OF HUNCHMEN! 

Making his way through the 

evening traffic, GREGGERY notices 

that the other vehicles which 

crowd and bump his little red car 

are all inhabited by slowly-aging 

'VERY HIP YOUNG PEOPLE', 

They appear to be casting 

sinister glances toward him 

through their glinting acid burn- 

out eyeballs, trying to run him 

off the road, or make him bump into 

something, giving strong evidence 

of HOSTILE AGGRESSION! 

To elude them, GREGGERY takes the 

SHORT FOREST EXIT off the express- 

way. They zoom after him in all 

manner of cars. trucks, 

garishly-painted buses, and 

motorcycles. 

GREGGERY takes a bumpy trail 

off the main SHORT FOREST ROAD, 

which leads him up the side 

of a FAMOUS (and convenientlv 

placed) MOUNTAIN, and into a strange 

cave on the edge of a cliff, not far 

from a LITTLE TWISTED TREE. . .with 

eyes on it. 

Meanwhile, the enraged HUNCHMEN 

(and HUNCH-'WOMEN) rumble 

through the SHORT FOREST until 

(realizing the little swine has 

escaped, they decide to park their 

steaming vehicles in a circular 

pseudo-Wagon Train formation. . . 

and have a LOVE-IN! 

Under the influence of a fantastic 

amount of TRENDY CHEMICAL AMUSEMENT 

AID, they proceed to perform lewd 

acts, rip each other off for small 

personal possessions, and dance 

with depraved abandon in the vicinity 

of a six-foot pile of transistor radios 

each one tuned to a different station). 

WHAT? 

The HUNCHMEN finally expire 

from exhaustion, 

And GREGGERY, 

Who has viewed the proceedings 

From a safe distance, 

Breathes a sigh of relief. . . 

Phew! 

Only to be terrified once again 

By a roar of immense laughter. . . 

HO! HO! HO! 

Which seems to be rumbling up 

From the very depths of the cave 

In which he has hidden his car! 

(Good lord! What was that!?) 

GRECGERY doesn't realize 

He has concealed himself 

Inside the very mouth of 

BILLY THE MOUNTAIN! 

HO! HO! HO! 

And, as you all know, 

Whenever BILLY laughs, 

Rocks and boulders hack up, 

And the air for miles around 

Is filled with tons of dust, 

Forming a series of huge 

BROWN CLOUDS! 

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS? 

WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS? 

HO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS? 

BETTER ASK A PHILOSTOPHER 'N SEE WHAT HE SAYS! 

GREGGERY stops at a gas station 

And makes a mysterious phone 

IS THIS THE OLD LOFT 

WITH THE PAINT PEELIN' OFF IT 

BY THE CHINESE POLICE 

HERE THE DOGS ROLL BY? 

IS THIS HERE THEY KEEP 

THE PHILOSTOPHERS NOW, 

WITH THE RUGS & THE DUST, 

WHERE THE BOOKS GO TO DIE? 

HOW MANY YEZ GOT? 

SAY YEZ GOT QUITE A FEW, 

JUST SITTIN' AROUND THERE 

WITH NOTHIN' TO DO? 

WELL I JUST CALLED YEZ UP 

'CAUSE I WANTED TO SEE 

A PILOSTOPER BE OF ASSISTANCE 

TO ME! 

GREGCERY receives information 

that 

'The Greatest Livin PHILOSTOPHER 

Knon to Mankind' 

Is currently in possession of the 

very information 

In question, 

And, furthermore, this information 

could be HIS, 

If only GREGGERY would attend a 

'SPECIAL THERAPEUTIC GROUP 

ASSEMBLY' 

(Classes now forming), 

And available at a special 

low introductory fee. . . 

And now, here he is, 

'The Greatest Living PHILOSTO- 

PHER Known to Mankind', 

QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND! 

Take it away! 

"Folks, 

As vou can see for yourself. 

The way this clock over here 

is behaving, 

TIME IS OF AFFLICTION! 

Now this might be cause for alarm 

Among a portion of you, as, 

From a certain experience, 

I TEND TO PROCLAIM: 

'THE EONS ARE CLOSING'!" 

Make your checks payable to 

-25.8- 

'QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND, 

Greatest Livin Philostopher 

Known to Mankind'! 

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS? 

WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS? 

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS? 

IF YOU ASK A PILOSTOPHER, HE'LL SEE 

THAT YOU PAYS!