Scrutinizer Postlude Lyrics - Frank Zappa

Central Scrutinizer: 

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... again. Hi!...It's me again, 

the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe says Lucille has messed bis mind up, 

but, was it the girl or was it the music? As you can see . .girls, music, 

disease, heartbreak. .they all go together. Joe found out the hard way, but 

his troubles were just beginning... his mind was so messed up... he could 

hardly do nothin' . .He was in a quandary ... being devoured by the swirling 

cesspool of his own steaming desires. .the guy was a wreck. .so. .what 

does he do? For once, he does something SMART . . . he goes out . . . and 

pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover . . . at the First . . . at the Pch . . . 

hem . . . he goes out . . . and pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover . . . 

at the First Church of Appliantology! 

SCRUTINIZER'S POSTLUDE 

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Eventually it was discovered 

That God 

Did not want us to be 

All the same 

This was 

BAD NEWS 

For the Governments of The World 

As it seemed contrary 

To the doctrine of 

Portion Controlled Servings 

Mankind must be made more uniformly 

If THE FUTURE 

Was going to work 

Various ways were sought 

To bind us all together 

But, alas SAMENESS was unenforceable 

It was about this time 

That someone 

Came up with the idea of TOTAL CRIMINALIZATION 

Based on the principle that 

If we were ALL crooks 

We could at last be uniform 

To some degree 

In the eyes of THE LAW 

Shrewdly our legislators calculated 

That most people were 

Too lazy to perform a 

REAL CRIME 

So new laws were manufactured 

Making it possible for anyone 

To violate them any time of the day or night, 

And 

Once we had all broken some kind of law 

We'd all be in the same big happy club 

Right up there with the President, 

The most exalted industrialists, 

And the clerical big shots 

Of all your favorite religions 

TOTAL CRIMINALIZATION 

Was the greatest idea of its time 

And was vastly popular 

Except with those people 

Who didn't want to be crooks or outlaws, 

So, of course, they had to be TRICKED INTO IT... 

Which is one of the reasons why 

Music 

Was eventually made 

Illegal 

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