Joe's Garage Lyrics - You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 3 - Frank Zappa

A boring old garage in a residential area with a teen-age band 

rehearsing in it. JOE (the main character in the CENTRAL 

SCRUTINIZER'S Special Presentation) sings to us of the trials and 

tribulations of garage-band husbandry. 

We take you now, to a garage, in Canoga Park. 

(It makes it's own sauce...) 

It wasn't very large 

There was just enough room to cram the drums 

In the corner over by the Dodge 

It was a fifty-four 

With a mashed up door 

And a cheesy little amp 

With a sign on the front said "Fender Champ" 

And a second hand guitar 

It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar 

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At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music and 

earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O) 

joins in the song... 

We could jam in Joe's Garage 

His mama was screamin' 

His dad was mad 

We was playin' the same old song 

In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would 

Play it all night long 

It was all we knew, 'n' easy too 

So we wouldn't get it wrong 

All we did was bend the string like... 

Hey! 

Down in Joe's Garage 

We didn't have no dope or LSD 

But a coupla quartsa beer 

Would fix it so the intonation 

Would not offend yer ear 

And the same old chords goin' over 'n' over 

Became a symphony 

We would play it again 'n' again 'n' again 

'Cause it sounded good to me 

ONE MORE TIME! 

Photos 

We could jam in Joe's Garage 

His mama was screamin', 

"TURN IT DOWN!" 

We was playing' the same old song 

In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would 

Play it all night long 

It was all we knew, and easy too 

So we wouldn't get it wrong 

Even if you played it on a saxophone 

We thought we was pretty good 

We talked about keepin' the band together 

'N' we figured that we should 

'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye 

From the girls in the neighborhood 

They'd all come over 'n' dance around 

like... 

Twenty teen-age girls dash 

in and go STOMP-CLAP, 

STOMP-CLAP-CLAP... 

So we picked out a stupid name 

Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks 

'N' we was on our way to fame 

Got matching suits 'N' Beatle Boots 

'N' a sign on the back of the car 

'N' we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar 

ONE TWO THREE FOUR 

LET'S SEE IF YOU GOT SOME MORE! 

People seemed to like our song 

They got up 'n' danced 'n' made a lotta noise 

An' it wasn't 'fore very long 

A guy from a company we can't name 

Said we oughta take his pen 

'N' sign on the line for a real good time 

But he didn't tell us when 

These "good times" would be somethin' 

That was really happenin' 

So the band broke up 

An' it looks like 

We will never play again... 

Guess you only get one chance in life 

To play a song that goes like... 

screams out the window... 

Turn it down! 

Turn it DOWN! 

I have children sleeping here... 

Don't you boys know any nice songs? 

Well the years was rollin' by, yeah 

Heavy Metal 'n' Glitter Rock 

Had caught the public eye, yeah 

Snotty boys with lipstick on 

Was really flyin' high, yeah 

'N' then they got that Disco thing 

'N' New Wave came along 

'N' all of a sudden I thought the time 

Had come for that old song 

We used to play in "Joe's Garage" 

And if I am not wrong 

You will soon be dancin' to... 

The WHITE ZONE is 

for loading and 

unloading only. If you 

gotta load or unload, 

go to the WHITE 

ZONE. You'll love it... 

Well the years was rollin' by (etc.)... 

I'm calling THE POLICE! 

I did it! They'll be here... shortly! 

This is the Police... 

I'm not joking around anymore 

We have the garage surrounded 

If you give yourself up 

We will not harm you 

Or hurt you neither 

You'll see them 

This is the Police 

There they are, they're coming! 

Give yourself up 

We will not harm you 

Listen to that mess, would you? 

This is the Police 

Give yourself up 

We have the garage surrounded 

Everday this goes on around here! 

We will not harm you, or maim you 

(SWAT Team 4, move in!) 

He used cut my grass... 

He was very nice boy... 

That's DISGUSTING! 

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... 

That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law. 

Naturally, we were easy on him. 

One of our friendly counselors gave him 

A do-nut... and told him to 

Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.