Crew Slut Lyrics - You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 6 - Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) 

Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals) 

Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals) 

Ike Willis (lead vocals) 

Peter Wolf (keyboards) 

Tommy Mars (keyboards) 

Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals) 

Ed Mann (percussion) 

Vinnie Colaiuta (drums) 

Jeff (tenor saxophone) 

Marginal Chagrin (baritone saxophone) 

Stumuk (bass saxophone) 

Dale Bozzio (vocals) 

Al Malkin (vocals) 

Craig Steward (harmonica) 

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Central Scrutinizer: 

But one night, at the Social Club meeting 

Mary didn't show up . . . 

She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory 

In order to get a pass 

To see some big rock group for free . . . 

Backstage at the local Armory, Mary, in her little white dress, is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her mouth as LARRY (the guy from the garage who quit the band in order to make an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler suit and sings to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and clapping a little while ago, as they kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus, hoping to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism on the jolly lads who set up the P.A. System. 

Larry: 

Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these 

Industrial towns 

I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired 

Of all the local clowns 

They never give you no respect 

They never treat you nice 

So perhaps you oughta try 

A little friendly advice 

And be a CREW SLUT 

Hey, you'll love it 

Be a CREW SLUT 

It's a way of life 

Be a CREW SLUT 

See the world 

Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus 

CREW SLUT 

Add water makes its own sauce 

Be a CREW SLUT 

So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite 

The boys in the crew 

Are just waiting for you 

You never to get move around 

You never go nowhere 

I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired 

Of all the guys out there 

You always wondered what it's like 

To go from place to place 

So, darlin', take a little ride 

On the mixer's face 

Be a CREW SLUT 

Just follow the magic footprints 

Be a CREW SLUT 

Hey, you'll love it! 

Be a CREW SLUT 

It's a way of life 

I ain't gonna squash it 

And you don't need to wash it! 

CREW SLUT 

Hey, I'll buy you a pizza 

CREW SLUT 

Of course I'll introduce you to Warren 

The boys in the crew 

Are only waiting for you 

Photos 

At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time, borrow some of the big rock group's equipment and have a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressed with LARRY'S ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing... 

Larry: 

Well you been to Alabama, girl, 

'N' Georgia too 

'N' all the boys in the crew 

Is bein' good to you 

I know yer sayin' to yourself 

'This is the way to go' 

'Cause when you need a little extra 

They will give you some mo' 

'Cause you're the CREW SLUT 

Mary: 

Eh, hah ha, I'm into leather... 

Larry: 

That's good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love leather... 

Mary: 

And rubber... 

Larry: 

Yeh, they like rubber too... shrink-tubing 

With a hair dryer... 

Road Crew Chorus: 

Trade your spot on the bench 

For a guy with a wrench 

And be a... 

Mary: 

Ha ha ha... 

Larry: 

You like that, huh? 

I told you you'd love it... 

It's a way of life! 

Road Crew Chorus: 

The guys in the crew 

Have got a present for you! 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Mary: 

A present for me? 

Road Crew Chorus: 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Larry: 

Hmmm, we got a present for you! 

Road Crew Chorus: 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Mary: 

Whaddya got? 

Road Crew Chorus: 

Ren nah naaah 

Mary: 

Whaddya gonna give me? 

Road Crew Chorus: 

Ren nah naaah 

Ren nah naaah 

Larry: 

It looks just like a Telefunken U-47 

You'll love it... 

Mary: 

With Leather? 

Central Scrutinizer: 

Eh errr, eh eh... This is, eh, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again... 

And so Mary was enticed away from Joe 

By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket 

Lured into a life of SLEAZERY 

With the entire road crew of some 

Famous Rock Group 

(I don't know whether it was really Toad-O or not 

...I don't know... I'll check it out) 

Again we see 

MUSIC 

Causing 

BIG TROUBLE!