Cheepnis (live / 12-10-73 / Show 2) Lyrics - Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) 

George Duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals) 

Tom Fowler (bass) 

Ruth Underwood (percussion) 

Jeff Simmons (rhythm guitar, vocals) 

Don Preston (synthesizer) 

Bruce Fowler (trombone) 

Walt Fowler (trumpet) 

Napoleon Murphy Brock (tenor saxophone, flute, lead vocals) 

Ralph Humphrey (drums) 

Chester Thompson (drums) 

Debbie (background vocals) 

Lynn (background vocals) 

Robert Camarena (background vocals) 

Cheepnis. 

Let me tell you something, do you like monster movies? 

Anybody? 

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(YEAH!) 

I love monster movies, I simply adore monster movies, 

And the cheaper they are, the better they are. 

And cheepnis in the case of a monster movie has nothing to do with 

the budget of the film, although it helps. 

But true cheepnis is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to 

the jaw of a giant spider. I'll tell you, 

a good one that I saw one time, 

I think the name of the film was "It conquered the world" (YEAH! 

) And the... Did you ever see that one? 

The monster looks sort of like an inverted ice-cream corn with teeth 

around the bottom. It looks like a, 

like a teepee or a sort of a rounded off pup-tent affair. And ah, 

it's got fangs on the base of it, 

I don't know why but it's a very threatening sight. 

And then he's got a frown and, you know, ugly mouth and everything, 

And there's this one scene where the ah monster is coming out of a 

cave. See? There's always a scene where they come out of a cave, 

at least once. And the rest of the cast... 

it musta been made around the 1950's. The lapels are about like th 

at wide, The ties are about that wide and about this short, 

And they always have a little revolver that they're gonna shoot the 

monster with. And there is always a girl who falls down and twists 

her ankle. Hey hey! Of course there is! You know how they are, 

the weaker sex and everything, 

Twisting their ankle on behalf of a little ice-cream corn. 

Well in this particular scene, In this scene folks, they ah, 

they didn't wanna re-take it 'cause it musta been so good they wanted 

to keep it, but they... When the monster came out of the cave, 

just over on the left hand side of the screen you can see about this 

much two-by-four attached to the bottom of the Thing as the guy is 

pushing it out, And then obviously off-camera somebody's goin': "No! 

Get it back!" ... 

and they drag it back just a little bit as the 

guy is goin': "KCH! KCH!" Now that's cheepnis. 

Photos 

Right. And this is cheepnis here: One two three four... 

I ate a hot dog 

It tasted real good 

Then I watched a movie 

From Hollywood 

Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me 

Took a turn around, I said: Can y'all see? 

The little strings on the Giant Spider?" 

The Zipper From The Black Lagoon? 

The vents by the tanks where the bubbles go up? 

(And the flaps on the side of the moon) 

The jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb 

They use when the slime droozle off 

The rumples & the wrinkles in the cardboard rock 

And the canvas of the cave is too soft 

The suits & the hats & the tie's too wide 

And too short for the scientist man 

The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind 

And the monster just ate Japan 

Ladies and gentlemen, 

The monster, 

Which the peasants in this area call FRUNOBULAX 

(Apparently a very large poodle dog) 

Has just been seen approaching The Power Plant 

Bullets can't stop it 

Rockets can't stop it 

We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE! 

HERE COMES THAT POODLE DOG! 

BIG AS A BLIMP WITH A RHINESTONE COLLAR 

SNAPPIN' OFF THE TREES 

LIKE THEY WAS BONSAI'D ORNAMENTS ON A 

DRY-WOBBLE LANDSCAPE 

KEEP IT AWAY! DON'T LET THE POODLE BITE ME! 

WE CAN'T LET IT REPRODUCE! OH! 

SOMEBODY GET OUT THE PANTS! 

The National Guard has formed up at the base 

of the mountain 

And is attempting to lure the enormous poodle 

towards the cave 

Where they hope to destroy it with napalm 

A thousand of the troopers are now lined up 

and are calling to the monster... 

Here Fido 

Here Fido 

Here Fido 

GOT A GREAT BIG SLIMEY THING 

GOT A GREAT BIG HEAVY THING 

GOT A GREAT BIG POODLE THING 

GOT A GREAT BIG HAIRY THING 

C'mon! Everybody! Let's go! 

Get the distilled water! Get the canned goods! 

Get the toilet paper! You know we need it! 

GO TO DA SHELTER 

MY BABY, MY BABY, 

GO TO DA SHELTER 

GO TO DA SHELTER 

Little Miss Muffett on a squat by me, 

Can ya see the little string danglin' down 

Makes the legs go wabble an' the mouth flop shut 

An' the HORRIBLE EYE, HORRIBLE EYE, HORRIBLE EYE 

Go rollin' around 

Can y'see it all 

Can y'see it from here 

Can y'laugh till yer weak on yer knees 

If you can't, I'm sorry 'cause that's 

all I wanna know 

I need a little more cheepnis please 

Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know 

I need a little more cheepnis please 

Baby, I'm sorry 'cause it's all I wanna know 

I need a little more cheepnis please 

(etc. repeats)