Broken Hearts Are For Assholes (live At The Palladium, Nyc / 10-28-77 / Show 1) Lyrics - Frank Zappa

Hey! Do you know what you are? 

You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE! 

Some of you might not agree 

'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery 

But think a while and you will see... 

Broken hearts are for assholes 

Broken hearts are for assholes 

Are you an asshole? 

Broken hearts are for assholes 

Are you an asshole too? 

Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole... 

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Maybe you think you're a lonely guy 

Maybe you think you're too tough to cry 

So you went to The Grape, 

Just to give it a try 

And Dagmar 

Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life 

Was his name... 

One Two Three Four! 

The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his 

Pancake make-up 

And yet he was a beautiful lady 

Nearly drove you insane 

Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR 

And so you kissed a little sailor 

Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production: 

Who had just blew in from Spain 

Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf 

You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel 

The story of a demented bread-boffer 

And acted like it was cocaine 

Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf 

You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko 

Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar's back in town 

In a way you can't explain 

Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match 

With Kona. 

And so you worked the wall with Michael 

Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite 

Which gave your back an awful strain 

Volcanic Hell 

But you came back on Sunday for the gong show 

Next Thursday, teen town's finest... 

But you forgot what I was sayin' 

'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole 

That's right 

You're an asshole, you're an asshole 

Yes, yes 

You're an asshole, you're an asshole 

That's right 

You're an asshole, you're an asshole 

Photos 

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest 

'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole 

You say you can't live with what you been through 

Well, ladies you can be an asshole too 

You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you, 

But don't fool yerself girl 

It's lookin' at you 

Don't fool yerself girl 

It's winkin' at you 

Don't fool yerself girl 

It's blinkin' at you 

That's why I say 

I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it 

Ram it up yer poop chute 

Corn hole 

Ram it, ram it, ram it 

Ram it up yer poop chute 

Fist fuck 

Ram it, ram it, ram it 

Ram it up yer poop chute 

Wrist-watch; Crisco 

Ram it, ram it, ram it 

Ram it up yer poop chute 

Pud! 

Don't fool yerself, girl 

It's goin' right up yer poop chute 

Don't fool yerself, girl 

It's goin' right up yer poop chute 

(etc., repeats) 

Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...