M.h.'s Jokes Lyrics - Fall

[MES is the one swearing a lot] 

Anyway, this guy goes "Fuckin 'ell, you don' 'alf complain for an eleven year old do you?" 

ooooohhhh 

-That machine is nice 

-Fuck off it took me ages to get that, yeah 

-I want that machine 

-Yeah what yeah right, 

-clean joke 

-Wuh 

-If I tell a good clean joke, can I have that? 

-No you fuckin can't 

-I want it, honest 

-You can't have it 

-There's no VUs coming up there at all. Is it supposed to have VUs on it? 

-No, it's not. 'S fuckin' my machine, that. Keep your hands off it. 

-It's your machine. It's a VU-less machine. Sure it's recording, Mark? Better turn the volume up. OK, what d'you call a guy with a spade in his head? Doug. 

-Jesus, that's pathetic. 

-What d'you call a guy who's been dead and buried for 30,000 years? Pete. (nervous laugh) Come on, then, astound me with your wit, Mark. 

[Cut] 

-Come on, rewind it, let's see what you had to say. 

-Erm, we've been through this before, haven't we? 

-Right I'll do it for the tape like all them other bands do, like we've done it once, but the cameras weren't rolling 

-Nah, I'm thinking of my joke actually. 

-So I'm reading Frank Zappa, right, it's an au- it's a biography by Frank Zappa 

-Right [MES totally disinterested] 

-And - errrr - it's 1988, I go tup to 1988 and the book is about how many things he released, when he released it 

-Hrrrrrrghhhhhm 

-How many offshoots and all this shit, and all of a sudden I'm realising, errr 

-More interested when you were talking about Napoleon actually