Heading Home Lyrics - Diamond Days - Eric Bibb

I was riding on the Mayflower 

When I thought I spied some land 

I yelled for Captain Arab 

I have yuh understand 

Who came running to the deck 

Said, "Boys, forget the whale 

Look on over yonder 

Cut the engines 

Change the sail 

Haul on the bowline" 

We sang that melody 

Like all tough sailors do 

When they are far away at sea 

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"I think I'll call it America" 

I said as we hit land 

I took a deep breath 

I fell down, I could not stand 

Captain Arab he started 

Writing up some deeds 

He said, "Let's set up a fort 

And start buying the place with beads" 

Just then this cop comes down the street 

Crazy as a loon 

He throw us all in jail 

For carryin' harpoons 

Photos 

Ah me I busted out 

Don't even ask me how 

I went to get some help 

I walked by a Guernsey cow 

Who directed me down 

To the Bowery slums 

Where people carried signs around 

Saying, "Ban the bums" 

I jumped right into line 

Sayin', "I hope that I'm not late" 

When I realized I hadn't eaten 

For five days straight 

I went into a restaurant 

Lookin' for the cook 

I told them I was the editor 

Of a famous etiquette book 

The waitress he was handsome 

He wore a powder blue cape 

I ordered some suzette, I said 

"Could you please make that crepe" 

Just then the whole kitchen exploded 

From boilin' fat 

Food was flying everywhere 

And I left without my hat 

Now, I didn't mean to be nosy 

But I went into a bank 

To get some bail for Arab 

And all the boys back in the tank 

They asked me for some collateral 

And I pulled down my pants 

They threw me in the alley 

When up comes this girl from France 

Who invited me to her house 

I went, but she had a friend 

Who knocked me out 

And robbed my boots 

And I was on the street again 

Well, I rapped upon a house 

With the U.S. flag upon display 

I said, "Could you help me out 

I got some friends down the way" 

The man says, "Get out of here 

I'll tear you limb from limb" 

I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too" 

He said, "You're not Him 

Get out of here before I break your bones 

I ain't your pop" 

I decided to have him arrested 

And I went looking for a cop 

I ran right outside 

And I hopped inside a cab 

I went out the other door 

This Englishman said, "Fab" 

As he saw me leap a hot dog stand 

And a chariot that stood 

Parked across from a building 

Advertising brotherhood 

I ran right through the front door 

Like a hobo sailor does 

But it was just a funeral parlor 

And the man asked me who I was 

I repeated that my friends 

Were all in jail, with a sigh 

He gave me his card 

He said, "Call me if they die" 

I shook his hand and said goodbye 

Ran out to the street 

When a bowling ball came down the road 

And knocked me off my feet 

A pay phone was ringing 

It just about blew my mind 

When I picked it up and said hello 

This foot came through the line 

Well, by this time I was fed up 

At tryin' to make a stab 

At bringin' back any help 

For my friends and Captain Arab 

I decided to flip a coin 

Like either heads or tails 

Would let me know if I should go 

Back to ship or back to jail 

So I hocked my sailor suit 

And I got a coin to flip 

It came up tails 

It rhymed with sails 

So I made it back to the ship 

Well, I got back and took 

The parkin' ticket off the mast 

I was ripping it to shreds 

When this coastguard boat went past 

They asked me my name 

And I said, "Captain Kidd" 

They believed me but 

They wanted to know 

What exactly that I did 

I said for the Pope of Eruke 

I was employed 

They let me go right away 

They were very paranoid 

Well, the last I heard of Arab 

He was stuck on a whale 

That was married to the deputy 

Sheriff of the jail 

But the funniest thing was 

When I was leavin' the bay 

I saw three ships a-sailin' 

They were all heading my way 

I asked the captain what his name was 

And how come he didn't drive a truck 

He said his name was Columbus 

I just said, "Good luck."