Grigori Rasputin Vs Joseph Stalin Lyrics - Epic Rap Battles Of History

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! 

RASPUTIN! VS! STALIN! 

BEGIN 

[Verse 1: Grigori Rasputin] 

Cool mustache, Wario 

Try messing with the Mad Monk you'll be sorry, yo 

How many dictators does it take 

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states? 

It's a disgrace what you did to your own people 

Your daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil 

You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia 

And the history books unfold ya! 

As a messed up motherfucker bent in the mind 

Who built a superpower but he paid the price 

With the endless destruction of Russian lives 

If you're the man of steel I spit kryptonite! 

Big dick mystic known to hypnotize 

I could end you with a whisper to your wife 

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[Verse 2: Joseph Stalin] 

Look into my eyes you perverted witch 

See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch 

You think I give a fuck about my wife? 

My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life 

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock! 

I'd leave your neck in a noose, in a trench, and shot! 

Your whole family? Shot! All your wizard friends? Shot! 

Anyone who sold you pierogi? Shot! 

Starve you for days til you waste away 

I even crush mother fuckers when I'm laid in state 

Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture 

Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch slapped Hitler 

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[Verse 3: Vladimir Lenin] 

I have no pride for you who ruined everything 

My revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie! 

I fought the bondage of classes, the proletariat masses 

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses! 

Let me start with you there, Frankenstein! 

Looking like something out of R.L. Stine 

It's hip hop chowder, red over white 

Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight! 

And Joseph you were supposed to be my right hand man 

But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man! 

Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark 

And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx! 

[Verse 4: Mikhail Gorbachev] 

Knock knock knock knock 

Did somebody say birthmarks? 

Yo I'm the host with the most Glasnost 

Assholes made a mess and the war got cold 

Shook hands with both Ronalds; Reagan and McDonald's, no doubt! 

If your name end with 'in', time to get out! 

I had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa! 

Torn down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man Oh yeah! 

You two need yoga, you need a shower 

And you all need to learn how to handle real power! 

[Verse 5: Vladimir Putin] 

Did somebody say real power? 

Дa, you want to mess with me? 

I spit hot borsch when I'm crushing these beats 

Blow it up like a tuba while I'm balling in Cuba 

Doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука. 

I'm a president in my prime, my enemies don't distract me 

The last man who attacked me, lived a half-life, so comrade come at me 

You don't know what you're doing 

When you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin 

You'll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!