Schooling Lyrics - Digital Biography - Eminem

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself 

You can try this at home 

You can be just like me! 

Mic check one two.. we recordin? 

I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this 

If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus 

I strangled you to death then I choked you again 

Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin 

You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally 

Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally 

I get you blunted off of funny home grown 

Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono 

(Ohh no!!) So if I said I never did drugs 

That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does 

Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert 

I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!) 

My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge 

Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!) 

Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez 

Follow me and do exactly what the song says: 

smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink 

And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal 

I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal 

So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill 

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin skill 

Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill 

But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist 

How the fuck can I be white, I don't even exist 

I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave 

Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave 

My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave? 

And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave? 

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Now follow me and do exactly what you see 

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me! 

I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D. 

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me! 

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole 

When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold' 

Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold 

Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!) 

My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk 

I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt 

I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer 

That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh) 

My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue 

witcha dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch 

Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on 

And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn 

I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits 

A premature birth that was four minutes late 

Mother.. are you there? I love you 

I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel 

Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed 

a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain? 

I take a breather and sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts 

Cause if you ain't tiltin this room, neither am I 

So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass 

Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her 

Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with 

I bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it 

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I came to the club drunk with a fake ID 

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me! 

I've been with 10 women who got HIV 

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me! 

I got genital warts and it burns when I pee 

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me! 

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree 

You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!!