Kids Lyrics - Raw & Uncut - Eminem

[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman) 

And everyone should get along. 

Okay children quiet down, quiet down 

Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day 

His name is Mr. Shady 

Children quiet down please 

Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!) 

Mr. Shady will be your new substitute 

while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!) 

Good luck Mr. Shady 

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[Eminem] 

Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!) 

Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels 

But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?) 

Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom 

and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot 

but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot 

And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot 

and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock 

when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog 

Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!) 

And even if they escaped and they got the cops 

the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge 

'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job 

when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk 

But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off 

But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker 

Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka 

You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr." 

He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her 

and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her 

But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander 

they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner 

And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana, 

and what it might do to you 

So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you 

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[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)] 

See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon) 

and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man) 

and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right) 

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will) 

So kids say no to drugs (that's right) 

So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh) 

Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along) 

Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? 

[Eminem] 

My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? 

FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?) 

Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? 

Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world 

If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it 

Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid 

and spinal fluid is vital, you won't get it back 

So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back 

Meet Zach, twenty-one years old 

After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold 

and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys 

and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it 

Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive 

and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*} 

His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches 

He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*} 

And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him 

"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!" 

cause they took it too, so they think it's funny 

So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money 

Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over 

and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga 

And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac 

So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you 

[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)] 

See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right) 

and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right) 

and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can) 

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will) 

So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack) 

So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right) 

And there's really nothin else to say (but umm) 

Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? 

[Eminem] 

And last but not least, one of the most humungous 

problems among young people today, is fungus 

It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off, 

bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it 

Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff 

And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em. 

And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?) 

Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair 

(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire 

Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?) 

And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms 

Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus 

Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?) 

cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!) 

See drugs are bad, it's a common fact 

But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!) 

But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D. 

They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee 

and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault 

So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't, 

cause I'm bad for you 

[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)] 

See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh) 

and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down) 

and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask) 

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will) 

So kids say no to drugs (say no) 

So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do) 

And there's really nothin else to say (that's right) 

Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? 

[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman) 

Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!) 

Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!) 

Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!) 

So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!) 

so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!) 

(Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!) 

(So, fucked up, right now.)