Crimirnal Lyrics - Eminem

[Intro] 

Alot of people ask me, 

Stupid fucking questions, 

alot of people think that, 

what i say on record, 

or what i talk abouton the record, 

that i actually, do in real life, 

or that i believe in it, 

or if i say i wanna kill somebody that, 

im actually gonna do it or that i believe in it 

bull shit, 

if you believe that, 

then i'll kill you [Laughs] 

ya know why? 

cause im a 

CRIMINAL 

CRIMINAL 

youre goddamn right 

im a CRIMINAL 

yeah im a CRIMINAL 

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[Verse 1] 

My words are like a dagger wit a jagged edge 

that'll stab you in da head 

whether youre a fag or les 

or the homosex, hermpah, or a trans-a-vest, 

pants or dress: hate fags: the answers yes 

homophobic nah you just heterophobic 

starin at my jeans wathcin my genitals boulgin 

[ooh] thats my muthafuckin balls, 

you betta let go of 'em, 

they belong in my scrotum youll never get ahold of 'em [haha] 

hey its me Resache, 

WHOOPS somebody shot me, 

and i was just checkin the mail, 

get it checkin the male [tounge clicks] 

how many record you expectin' to sell 

after your 2nd LP sends you directly to jail 

C'mon relax guys 

i like gay men right ken 

gimmie an amen [aaaaaamen] 

please lod this boy needs jesus 

heal this child; help us destroy these demons, 

oh, and please send me a brand new car 

and a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital 

Preacher Preacher 5th grade teacher 

you cant reach me 

my mom cant neither [nope] 

you cant teach me a goddamn thing cause, 

i watch T.V. and Comcast cable 

and you aint able ta stop these thoughts 

and you cant stop me from toppin these charts 

and you cant stop me from droppin each March; 

with a brand new CD for these fucking retards[duhhr] 

and da think, its just lil' old me 

Mr. dont give a fuck still wont leave 

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[Chorus x2] 

I'ma 

CRIMINAL 

cause every time i write a rhyme 

these people think its a crime 

to tell em whats on my mind 

I guess I'ma 

CRIMINAL 

I dont gotta say a word 

I just flip em the bird 

and keep goin' 

I dont take shit from no one 

I'ma 

CRIMINAL 

[Verse 2] 

My mother did drugs: hard liqor, cigarettes and speed 

the baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed 

it was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she 

dont dare make fun of dat baby cause that baby was me I'ma 

CRIMINAL 

an animal caged will turned crazed 

but how the fuck you 'sposed da grow up when ya werent raised 

so as i got older and i got alot taller, 

my dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger 

I'll drink more liqor da fuck you up quicker 

than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin da word N***** 

My morals went [fart noise] 

when the president got oral 

sex in his oval office on top of his desk with mark his own employee 

now dont ignore me you wont avoid me 

you cant miss me im white, blonde hair and my nose is pointy 

im the bad guy, 

who makes fun of people that die 

in plane crashes and laughs 

as long as it aint happen da him 

Slim Shady im as crazy as em-inem and kim combined 

[buzz] the maniac's in 

replacin the doctor cause dre. couldnt make it today 

he's a little under the weather so im takin his place 

oh thats dre. wit and ak to his face, 

dont make me kill him to and spray his brains all over the place 

i told you dre. you should've kept that thing put away i guess that'll teach you not to let me play wit it ay 

[Interlude skit] 

Dre: ite look just go up to dat muthafucker, get the muthafuckin money and get the fuck up outta there 

Eminem: Ite 

Dre: Aiyyo Em 

Eminem: Whaaat 

Dre: Dont kill nobody dis time 

Eminem: ite ,goddamn what the fuck 

emienem [whistling] 

Clerk:Hi 

Eminem: How you doin. I need to make a withdraw 

Clerk: OK 

Eminem: Put the fucking money in the bag bitch and i wont kill you 

Clerk:Dont kill me 

Eminem: I said i wasnt gonna fucking kill you 

Quit lookin around 

Hurry the fuck up [GUNSHOT]THANK YOU 

[Verse 3] 

Windows tinted on my ride when i drive in it 

so when i rob a bank run out and just dive in it 

so when the guys in it 

and if anyone identifies the guy in it 

i'll hide for 5 minutes 

come back, shoot the eye witness 

fire at the private eye who fired me from my business 

Die bitches, bastards, brats pets, 

this puppy's lucky i didnt blast his ass yet 

if i ever gave a fuck i'd shave my nuts 

tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck 

you motherfucking chickens aint brave enough to say the stuff i say so just tape it shut 

shit half the shit i say i just make it up to make you mad so kiss my white naked ass 

and if it's not a rapper that i'll make it as 

I'ma be a fucking rapist in a jason mask 

[Chorus x4]