Crackers 'n Cheese Lyrics - Eminem

If you really loved me 

the way you say you do 

If you love me half as much 

as I love you 

You would pluck a planet from the sky 

You'd use a star to dot the "i" 

In I love you... that is what you'd do 

You'd take a dreary day 

and you would paint it blue 

If you loved me unconditionally 

These are the things 

that you would do for me 

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Because I need you 

Like a fish needs the sea 

Like a fire needs oxygen 

Like a flower needs a bee 

And if you really care for me 

You'd let me video you while you wee 

Standing up in the bath, 

I shouldn't even have to ask 

Perhaps you'll even store 

a little more in a flask 

These are just the things that people do 

When their love for one another is true 

Ba da da 

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We go together 

Like a cracker and Brie 

Like racism and ignorance 

Like bling and R&B 

But if you really want to show you care 

You'd let me wear your underwear 

When we visit your mum's, 

it's a bit of harmless fun 

I just like talking about your childhood 

with some lace between my buns 

There's no reason for a big to-do 

If your love for one another is true 

Ba da da 

We go together 

Like a bird in a nest 

Like Internet and porn 

Like guns and the US 

And if you love me 

like you say that you do 

You'd purchase forty cockatoo 

And teach them to fly 

in formation in the sky 

And shit the words "Tim is God" 

on my ex-girlfriend's Hyundai 

Sure, it might be easier with doves 

But shirking challenges is not what love 

Is all about 

Love is not all wine and roses 

Sometimes it's handcuffs and cheese 

No-one said love is for free 

And if you agree with that 

You'll sing me passages from the Koran 

wearing nothing but a Bob the Builder hat 

To the tune of waltzing Matilda 

I just love the combination of Islam, 

nationalism and builder 

(Builder) 

(Islam) 

(Nationalism) 

(And a little bitty builder) 

(Islam) 

(Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy) 

(And Bob the fucking Builder) 

Because I need you 

Like a tick needs a tock 

Like bananas need pyjamas 

Like a nun needs cock 

But if you want to put your love for me first 

You wouldn't go through childbirth 

You'd agree to adopt 

so that you could stay thin 

We'll get a Chinese kid, 

it could teach us Mandarin 

And communists don't make as much noise 

And they're really good 

at sharing their toys 

Because I dig you 

Like an Aussie digs pies 

Like Born-Agains dig Jesus 

Like Jesus dug guys 

And if you love me unconditionally 

You'd do my tax return for me 

Cos it's way overdue, 

and I just don't know, 

I guess I'm self-employed 

but do I still pay as I go? 

And does the threshold apply to me? 

And should I register for GST 

And if you love me unconditionally 

Would you let me video you while you wee? 

Assuming there's nothing worth watching on the ABC