Comin' Out My Closet (parody) Lyrics - Eminem

[Intro] 

Where's my penis? 

I have no penis in my butt hole - there you go 

Yeah.. yo, yo 

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? 

I have; I've been penetrated and ejaculated against 

Rammin' shafts up my faggot ass, look at my brass 

Ever since class I've been suckin' off my teachers to pass 

All this cum motion unloadin' run deep as ocean's explodin' 

Nut keeps splashin' from faggots just suck 'em off and keep goin' 

Nut-takin' bummer I'm known as to every one in my region 

Keep stickin' ass in the mornin' and takin' cocks in the evenin' 

Leaves me with a taste as sour as seminal in my mouth 

See they can bugger me, but y'all never figured me out 

Look at me now; you know I got a dick in me now. 

Blame my momma? 

She was the fattest slut in the house! 

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Chorus: 

I'm sorry momma! 

I never meant to hurt you! 

I never meant to make you cry; but tonight 

I'm comin' out my closet (one more time) 

I said I'm sorry momma! 

I never meant to hurt you! 

I never meant to make you cry; but tonight 

I'm comin' out my closet 

Ha! I got some vibrators in my closet 

and I don't know if no one knows it 

So before they throw me inside my coffin and close it 

I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '83 

before I ever had to worry about the HIV 

I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months 

My faggot father used to put his willy up in my bum 

cause he split, my anal cherry then he came in my eye 

And lookin' back on it all now I fuckin' wish I could die 

I look at gays, see, and try to picture their bare behinds 

Even if I hated men , I'd grit my teeth and I'd try 

to make it work with 'em, at least for papa's sake 

He maybe made some mistakes 

but he's the only gay who taught me everything that I know today 

What he did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb 

But the smartest shit he did was put a condom on his king dong 

''cause he'da killed me; shit he woulda shot cum in my throat 

It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Batty Boy Show" 

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Repeat Chorus 

Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition 

Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin' 

But put yourself in my position; just try to envision 

witnessin' your momma gobblin' Mormon missionaries in the kitchen 

Bitchin' that someone's always pullin' down her drawers and clit's itchin' 

Goin' through public whorehouse systems, victim of crack-controlled pimpin' 

My whole life I was made to believe I was straight when I wasn't 

'til I grew up, now I do what you did, I'm sick to my stomach 

guzzlin' it 

Wasn't it the reason you gave that VD to me MA? 

So you can try but can't deny the way you treated me MA? 

But guess what? You're gettin' Alzheimer's now, brain dead and alone too 

And your care home security's gettin' lax, you're gonna know when I bone you 

My asshole's gettin' so big now; you should see it, it's beautiful 

But you'll never see it - 'til I shit on you at your funeral! 

See what hurts me the most is when I take cocks that are long 

Rips through my thong - keep tellin' myself its all 'cause'a mom! 

But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get 

You selfish bitch; I fought fuckin' long and hard for these dicks 

Remember when Elton came out gay and you said you're glad it's not me? 

Well guess what, I +AM+ gay - gay as a faggot can be! 

Repeat Chorus (2x) till end