Episode Of Blonde Lyrics - Elvis Costello

One, two, three, four 

I spy for the spirit of curiosity 

All the scandals of each vain monstrosity 

I gossip and I pry and I insinuate 

If the failure is great then it tends to fascinate 

A tornado dropped a funnel cloud with twenty tons of rain 

Though she had the attention span of warm cellophane 

Her lovers fell like skittles in a 10 pin bowling lane 

But nothing could compare with that explosion of fame 

So you jumped back with alarm 

Every Elvis has his army, every rattlesnake its charm 

Can you still hear me? Am I coming through just fine? 

Your memory was buried in a simple box of pine 

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Did her green eyes seduce you and make you get so weak? 

Was there fire engine red that she left upon your cheek? 

It's such a shame you had to break the heart you could have counted on 

But the last thing you need is another episode of blonde 

Revolving like a jeweler's figure on a music box 

Spangled curtain parted and a night-club scene unlocks 

Pinned and fixed and fastened in a follow spot 

Arms thrown out to everyone, she's giving all she's got 

To the last gasp of a wounded bandeon 

A tiny man imploring to the ceiling fan this stolen feeling 

Amplified up through a busted speaker 

Blaring, blasting, advertising, distorted beyond reason 

Into the street where petty crime-coats shadow panic drunkards 

Half out of the taxi cab the barker seized my elbow 

He thought I was another lonely, likely pilgrim looking for St. Elmo 

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Did her green eyes seduce you and make you get so weak? 

Was there fire engine red that she left upon your cheek? 

It's such a shame you had to break the heart you could have counted on 

But the last thing you need is another episode of blonde 

I tried to keep a straight face but you know it never pays 

He would stare into those eyes and then vacation in her gaze 

She was a cute little ruin that he pulled out of the rubble 

Now they are both living in a soft soap bubble 

The film producer's contemplating, entertaining suicide 

The picture crumpled in his fist, his runaway child bride 

The timepiece stretched across his wrist 

She couldn't care less cast aside 

The scent that so repelled him that he swore, insecticide 

And there's a farewell note to mother 

That will conclude, 'Your loving Son 

Oh, tell your other children not to do as I have done' 

Did her green eyes seduce you and make you get so weak? 

Was there fire engine red that she left upon your cheek? 

It's such a shame, it's such a shame, shame, shame, shame 

Shame you had to break the heart you could have counted on 

But the last thing you need, this last thing you want 

Is another episode of blonde, it's another episode of blonde 

Oh it's another episode of blonde 

So an artist drags a toothbrush across the first thing that he sees 

And names the painting "Christ's Last Exit into Purgatory" 

Receiving secret messages from an alien intelligence 

And paying off his stalker it's a legitimate expense 

So paste up pictures of those shrill and hollow girls with puckered lips 

She's a trophy on your arm a magnet for your money clip 

The moral of this story is the sorry tale to say 

They're pieced with links of chains so they can never run away