Damnation's Cellar Lyrics - Elvis Costello

Did anybody notice, over marmalade and eggs 

In between the Princess' legs 

What with wars and floods and beggars 

Not to mention stocks and shares 

Well, if you have a moment to spare 

Can you write and reassure me that I have seen 

That they're constructing a time machine 

There will be no need for the obituary pages 

We can have any hero from the bygone ages 

'Til the truth emerges, an argument rages 

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The major and the minor turn from tallow into tar 

Should we leave them in their place down in damnation's cellar? 

When any form of deity that you might enjoy 

Can be conjured with a test-tube and a flame 

If it's out there then science can explain it 

Or at least remove the blame 

And if there is anyone you'd like to see again 

Then speak up quickly 

Send us back Da Vinci then we don't have to ponder 

The maddening smile of "La Giaconda" 

The critics say Nijinsky, the dancer, of course 

While the punters would probably prefer the horse 

You'll find it's quicker than history, cheaper than divorce 

The major and the minor turn from tallow into tar 

Should we leave them in their place down in damnation's cellar? 

Photos 

Bring back Liberace or Ollie and Stan 

Shakespeare will have to wait his turn 

Elvis Presley and Puccini shall return 

I suppose we live and learn 

Though it's hard to believe as we cheerfully burn 

It's curious 

Some will call for justice, there are murders to solve 

What about Hitler? Or at least Lee Harvey Oswald 

Give us this day and everything we squander 

Anyone beautiful, somebody blonder 

They'll never please mankind, so lie back and enjoy it 

Stop press: They've just decided to destroy it 

The major and the minor turn from tallow into tar 

Should we leave them in their place down in damnation's cellar?