Timothy Simons Vs. Tony Hale Lyrics - Drop The Mic On Tbs

[Timothy Simons] 

Joshua 

[Beatboxer Joshua Silverstein] 

Yes, sir 

[Timothy Simons] 

Friend 

[Joshua Silverstein] 

Yes 

[Timothy Simons] 

May I have a beat please? 

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[Joshua Silverstein] 

Absolutely 

[Timothy Simons] 

Thank you 

[Tony Hale] 

"May I," oh, you're starting off well 

[Round 1: Timothy Simons] 

It's the big 'Veep' battle and I have to acknowledge 

I'll win the popular and electoral college 

You look like a man adamant to stay celibate 

Put this dude in handcuffs, 'cause I'm arresting his development 

Your 'Veep' character's a brown-noser who's dim 

In other words, Tony, you were born to play him 

You're a freak, the biggest square in our circle 

There's no way I'm gonna lose to this little shaven gerbil 

[Tony Hale] 

Alright, Joshua, drop that beat 

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[Round 1: Tony Hale] 

You make fun of my role on 'Veep,' that's no surprise 

But I won two Emmys, you're hardly recognized 

You're a tall weirdo, and that might sound wrong 

The only fans you got are the ones you hit your head on 

This goofy monster is six-five tall 

To start acting, how bad were you at basketball? 

The fact that you have time to battle is a little obscene 

With your busy schedule, haunting children in their dreams 

[Timothy Simons] 

For your information, I was terrible at basketball 

[Tony Hale] 

And I don't care 

[Timothy Simons] 

A'ight, Joshua 

[Joshua Silverstein] 

Yes, sir 

[Timothy Simons] 

Friend 

[Joshua Silverstein] 

Yes 

[Timothy Simons] 

May I have another one? 

[Joshua Silverstein] 

Of course 

[Timothy Simons] 

Thank you 

[Round 2: Timothy Simons] 

Nice verse, Tony, you must really feel cool 

It's too bad you have stay 500 feet from every school 

You carry Julia's purse, it can't be overstated 

You only play roles where you're emasculated 

Whoever married you must be blind 

You look like Jim Henson's Muppets combined 

You're in the Angry Birds Movie, let me explain 

That's not a movie, it's an iPad game 

[Tony Hale] 

Similar. Simmer down, simmer, simmer 

[Timothy Simons] 

Oh, quiet down, everyone. Quiet down 

[Tony Hale] 

You ain't seen nothin' yet! 

[Round 2: Tony Hale] 

There's no turning back to squash this beef 

Now we got problems as big as your teeth 

Let's be honest, you weren't the first pick 

You look like Jason Segel got bit by a tick 

It looks like villagers would chase you with torches 

You're a Frankenstein made of Kennedy corpses 

And that's not the only line to make you laugh 

Your dad is Tony Robbins and your mom is a giraffe 

[Timothy Simons] 

That was very good, that was really good 

[Tony Hale] 

Oh, bless you. Bless you. Bless you 

[Timothy Simons] 

Bless you. Joshua 

[Round 3: Timothy Simons] 

Tony, you sound just as dumb as you look 

Like Buster's arm in 'Arrested Development,' you're gettin' the hook 

His dad worked at school teaching nuclear education 

So that explains his look, I blame the radiation 

Talkin' about science, I'm about blast off 

This dude looks like Darth Vader when he took his fucking mask off 

And there's no need to get personal, no need to get catty 

But when I come over for barbecue, you overcook the patties 

[Tony Hale] 

Let's take it down. Let's take it down a notch, take it down. You didn't mention anything about the patties when you came over to my place for the barbecue. You said you liked the patties 

[Timothy Simons] 

That's what you say when you go to somebody's house and they cook shitty food 

[Round 3: Tony Hale] 

Listen, Tim, I know we were once friends 

When you talk about my grill skills, that shit ends 

We're on the same set and I'm done treading softly 

If you make the last cup, make a new pot of coffee 

And stop using Xerox to make personal copies 

And another--get the fuck off me, dude! 

Tony Hale's comin' vicious! Tony Hale's got the bitches! 

Hale takes snitches like Tim and gives 'em stitches!