Randall Park Vs. James Van Der Beek Lyrics - Drop The Mic On Tbs

[James] 

Drop the beat 

[Round 1: James] 

They said I'd battle Randall Park, and I was like "oh 

I guess that's what happens when you can't get John Cho" 

Don't expect me to slay, but the truth is I'm astounding 

You're Fresh Off the Boat, get back in it, you're drowning 

Let me sum up every Randall Park interview 

"Randall, what's it like working with Constance Wu?" 

All that time at the gym, but you're still afraid of the dark? 

Man, I just just hit a Randall right out of the park 

[Randall] 

Alright, alright. That was alright. Let's do it, Joshua 

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[Round 1: Randall] 

You couldn't handle Randall, I'm a boss on the beat 

My flow fresh off the boat, got Dawson up shit's creek 

Without a paddle, don't even try to battle, don't bore us 

'Cause I'ma do you like Bruce Lee did Chuck Norris 

You're wack, a fading teen star and that's a fact 

Difference between you and Kirk Cameron is he can act 

In fact, this wannabe Patrick Swayze can't phase me 

And if I gotta bring it back, best believe I'm Team Pacey 

[James] 

That was harsh, man. Alright. So we're playin' for keeps, I get it. Hit it 

[Round 2: James] 

I first saw you in The Interview, where you played Kim Jong 

In a movie that almost got our whole country bombed 

Then it went into theaters and it actually bombed 

Only people who bought tickets were your dad and your mom 

I saw your [?] the 90s and I almost threw up 

But I'm happy to see how Data from The Goonies grew up 

I got four kids now and beautiful wife 

Like Varsity Blues, yo, "I don't want your life" 

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[Randall] 

Alright. My mom and my dad loved The Interview, by the way. They thought it was a great film. Alright, let's see what I got 

[Round 2: Randall] 

I'm an Asian man excelling in a white man's industry 

You're a white man in a white man industry failing miserably 

How's that even possible, you're so damn white 

Favorite flavor pumpkin spice, eating kale every night 

You probably think Uggs look nice, you know that I'm right 

I bet you liked La La Land way better than Moonlight 

So maybe holmes quit, 'cause you know that you're pissed 

I'ma be like Katie Holmes and act like you don't exist 

[James] 

Alright, that's fair. That's fair 

[Round 3: James] 

They say you're Chinese on your show, and it's good, we're all agreein' 

But in case you didn't know, hey Randall, you're Korean 

Feel the impact like a crash test dummy 

He was in the show Love, but he gets none from me 

I knew from the start this wasn't a fair fight 

I loved you in Trainwreck, not the movie, your life 

So laugh all you want at my Dawson's fame 

When I walk down the street, at least people know my name 

[James & the crowd] 

When I say Van Der, you say Beek 

Van Der, Beek! 

Van Der, Beek! 

Van Der, Beek! 

[Randall & the crowd] 

When I say Randall, you say Park 

Randall, Park! 

Alright, let's see what I can come with off the top of the dome 

[Round 3: Randall] 

Van Der Beek, man you're weak 

Your fan base is so old, they still dance cheek-to-cheek 

Yeah, I'm speakin' on this white-bread, preppy little bitch 

Got me wondering, am I battling Abercrombie or Fitch? 

Now you're on a show where you're playin' Diplo 

Does he know that waiters hate you 'cause you always tip low? 

At least you're still handsome, and that is legit 

The offspring of Ryan Gosling and a pile of shit