The Presidents Penis Is Missing Lyrics - Pizza Deliverance [original Recording Remastered] - Drive By Truckers

"They looked in the white house and capitol hill 

They looked everywhere for buffalo bill 

We called every scholar, reporter, and genius 

Has anyone seen the president's penis?" 

"It ain't in the congress or judiciary 

It ain't in the Smithsonian or that big ole library 

An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus 

Has anyone seen the president's penis?" 

(Now the entire press corp. erupts in song 

"The president's penis is missing ole'! 

We searched high and low, every night everyday 

Lord, won't you come down and redeem us 

Has anyone seen the president's penis?" 

(At this point, legendary news man Walter 

Cronkite returns from the moon to 

Add his commentary 

"Now presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways 

In the 80's we elected one missing his brain 

George Washington caught a cold he couldn't explain 

And we all know the truth about Thomas Jefferson's name" 

(Suddenly William Randolph Hurst rises from 

The grave and bellows out in an 

Orson Welles type voice 

"Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn't no square 

With that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair 

And all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didn't care 

And john Kennedy's penis was seen everywhere" 

(Once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song 

"The president's penis is missing ole'! 

We searched high and low every night every day 

Lord won't you come down and redeem us 

Has anyone seen the president's penis?" 

(The scene shifts to sen. John Glenn, wandering 

Pensively, somewhere in space 

"Them outer space people would laugh if they'd seen us 

All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus 

Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness 

But we're more concerned with the president's penis" 

The end?