If Dirt Were Dollars Lyrics - Singles - Don Henley

Walkin like a millionaire, smilin like a king 

He leaned his shopping cart against the wall 

He said, "I been a lot of places and I seen a lot of things 

But, sonny, I seen one thing that beats em all 

I was flyin back from Lubbock, I saw Jesus on the plane 

Or maybe it was Elvis, you know, they kinda look the same" 

Hey, hey look out, Junior, youre steppin on my bed 

I said, "I dont see nothin'", he just glared at me and said 

"If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

I wouldnt worry anymore", no 

Lookin like a beauty queen, loyal as a wife 

She raised her little voice and testified 

She said, "I am a good girl, Ive been one all my life" 

But her virtue was as swollen as her pride 

She shouldve had the Oscar, she must have been miscast 

Her fifteen minutes went by so fast 

I said, "Now, baby, have you got no shame?" 

She just looked at me, uncomprehendingly like cows at a passing train 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

I wouldnt worry anymore, no 

We got the bully pulpit and the poisoned pen 

We got a press no better than the public men 

This brave new world, gone bad again 

Gods finest little creatures looking brave and strong 

Whistling past the graveyard, nothing can go wrong 

Quoting from the scriptures with patriotic tears 

We got the same old men with the same old fears 

Standing at attention wrapped in stars and stripes 

They hear the phantom drummers and the nonexistent pipes 

These days the buck stops nowhere, no one takes the blame 

But evil is still evil in anybodys name 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

Wed all be in the black 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

I wouldnt worry anymore, no 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars 

If dirt were dollars