Who Stole My Car? Lyrics - Dj Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Now a joke is a joke and funny games are chill 

But this isn't funny y'all this is straight up ill 

Now there's a limit to humor and this is goin too far 

I ain't laughin no more y'all now who stole my car 

Now I don't know if you ever had a car stolen before 

But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door 

And you don't need a map or any kinda chart 

To know you're standin in the spot your car used to be parked 

Now you know you parked your car there but yet you keep lookin 

Cause your mind didn't accept yet that somebody took it 

So you're scratching your head and tryin to get things clear 

And it's always some idiot saying (you're sure you parked here) 

To call the police would be the move that is smart 

But instead you keep lookin where you know you didn't park 

Searchin for reasons like maybe tickets you owed 

Something to justify that - maybe it got towed 

But not stolen n-never forget it 

But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it 

If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year 

Cause you're lookin somewhere else when you know you parked it here 

So through never-neverland you find yourself strollin 

Then when you finally accept that it's stolen 

You call the police and they come and say 

(That's the 437th car stolen today) 

As if that's somethin that he really needed to mention 

Then they start askin you real dumb questions 

Like (well when's the last time that you saw it) 

You idiot, right before they stole it 

Now you're mad this cop is talkin to you 

And somebody in your car headed to kalamazoo 

Officer Fool or whoever you are 

Would you please get off your butt and find who stole my car? 

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I remember my first car, never forget it 

A candy apple red I ROC, windows deep tinted 

Talk about fast like a rocket to drive 

Went from zero to 60 in like 5.5 

Imagine red rims but that wasn't enough 

It had a car phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch 

An alpine stereo the straight up rock 

With 12" woofers you could hear for blocks 

The first day I got it I was frontin real hard 

I could hear people sayin (damn, look at that car) 

I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out 

So I went to the spot where they're usually hangin out 

Just my luck nobody's standin outside 

And I didn't really feel like parkin my ride 

So I honked my horn and nobody was comin 

I thougth what the heck, I went inside and left it runnin 

I was inside for 20 seconds that's all 

I found my friends, I said, "You gotta check this out, y'all" 

But when we came back out the car wasn't there 

(Man you ain't buy nothin) I did, I swear! 

My friends went inside, I was mad they didn't believe me 

Now i'm standin outside the spot my car used to be 

It's hard to figure out what to do all alone 

But then I got it: call the car phone 

Photos 

(Fresh Prince's car?) 

Yo thief, bring my car back now 

Before I bust your (hold up wait a minute pal) 

(Seems like you forgot who's got the keys) 

I thought: he's right, "Well, bring it back, please" 

Hello Mr. Thief, don't hang up 

Aw then luckily Jeff pulled up 

I told him what had happened someone stole my car 

I said, "Come on Jeff, let's get him, he can't be far" 

We rode around for about 20 minutes 

And we were just about to say forget it 

When I spotted him, I said, "Jeff, go get it!" 

We pulled up behind him and man dude jetted 

He was drivin all wild and fast 

Like he was gettin points for the stuff that he crashed 

I called him on the car phone again and I said 

Of course you realize when I catch you you're dead 

All through Philly was a high speed chase and 

Dude was playin around like he thought we was racin 

100 miles an hour and he lost control 

And slammed my car into a telephone pole 

I ran to the car said man you're okay 

He said yeah so I punched him in the face 

The cops came up as if it was my fault 

They saw me punch dude and charged me with assault 

If his neck was closer I probably woulda grabbed it 

He told the cops that I said he could have it 

I calmed down and they got things straight 

I saw half my car at 7th street the other half at 8th 

I wanted to just jump in the ocean 

My car looked like it was a Lego explosion 

Why does life have to be so hard? 

Don't laugh, next time it could be your car