Don't you disrespect me, little man!
Don't you derogate, or deride.
You're in my world now, not your world.
And I got friends on the other side.
(He's got friends on the other side...)
That's an echo gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in Louisiana, a little parlor trick, don't worry...
Sit down at my table
Put your minds at ease
If you relax it will enable me to do
Anything I please
I can read your future
I can change it 'round some, too
I'll look deep into your heart and soul
(You do have a soul, don't you Lawrence?)
Make your wildest dreams come true
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I got voodoo, I got hoodoo
I got things I ain't even tried!
And I got friends on the other side
(He's got friends on the other side...)
The cards, the cards, the cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well
The cards, the cards, just take three
Take a little trip into your future with me
Now you, young man, are from across the sea
You come from two long lines of royalty
(I'm a royal myself on my mother's side)
Your lifestyle's high, but your funds are low
You need to marry little honey who's daddy got dough
Mommy and daddy cut you off, huh, playboy? (Eh, sad but true.) Not ya'll gotta get hitched, but hitchin' ties you down. You just wanna be free, hop from place to place. But freedom, takes green.
It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need
And when I look into your future it's the green that I see.
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On you little man, I don't want to waste much time
You been pushed 'round all your life
You been pushed 'round by your mother and your sister and your brother
And if you was married, you'd be pushed 'round by your wife
But in your future, the you I see
Is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
Shake my hand. Come on boys, won't you shake a poor sinner's hand? Yes...
Are you ready?
(Are you ready?)
Are you ready?
Transformation central! (Transformation central!)
Reformation central! (Reformation central!)
Transmogrification central!
Can you feel it?
You're changin', you're changin', you're changin' alright
I hope you're satisfied
But if you ain't, don't blame me
You can blame my friends on the other side!
(You got what you wanted!
But you lost what you had!)
HA HA HA HA!
Hush...
Artist: Screeching Weasel
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