Packet Man Lyrics - Sex Packets - Digital Underground

Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets 

today? Yo, B, don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok? 

Cool, just trying to get your attention 

So you can take a look at this invention 

Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket 

(Man, what are these, condoms?) Uh uh: sex packets 

It's like a pill, you can either chew it up 

Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup 

And get this: see the girl on the cover? 

You black out, and she becomes your lover 

(You're trippin) no, I'm serious, these are authentic 

(Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics) 

Wrong again, my man, this is way more real 

But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

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(Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it) 

Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it 

(Well what exactly do I get?) 

Well read what it says, look at the picture (Bet 

It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33, 

Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin 

Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure an 

get me a few of these things. How long do they last?) 

Well it depends, let's see 

These cheap ones here are ten minutes 

But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour 

And these here sell for bout 40 

'Cause you get two girls (Yeah it says orgy) 

Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal 

You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill 

And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack 

It's cool, take a packet fool 

Biochemically compacted sexual affection 

Now here, take a look at my selection 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

(OK, I want these two boxes of three 

And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy 

And, by the way, I need something for my woman) 

Sure, I got guy packets (Cool, give me some of em) 

Now let me tell you how to take it: 

Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked 

Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean? 

This is more then just a dream 

It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind 

So be careful: only take one at a time 

And never take one behind the wheel 

You'll black out and hit a pole (Cool, let's make the deal) 

These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10 

Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even 

But don't pull your money out yet, see 

There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me 

Over here, (Yeah, this looks kinda cool 

20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove) 

Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again 

And remember, you need to be as safe as you can 

There's only one thing safer then using your hand 

Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man 

Yeah he's the packet man