When I Get To Heaven Lyrics - Dead Milkmen

If I go to Heaven it'll probably be a slum 

And all the pretty angels just might be packing guns 

And if I see St. Peter will he hit me up for cash 

Will I find the road to Jesus or just lose him in the trash 

The Shaggs were right 

You're never going to please anybody 

Not in this world 

If I go to Hell I might find it very dull 

Like an Amway convention or an endless shopping mall 

When all the innocent demons want to poke me with a fork 

Or just put me in a taxi and send me to New York 

Scientists proved it years ago 

The Shaggs were much better than the Beatles 

Maybe I'll return as an iguana 

And lie upon a beach down in the Bahamas 

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Although ignored in their day 

The Shaggs are now recognised as the geniuses they were 

I just wanna know what happens when you die 

Do you walk down in a hole or float up to the sky 

Is it just a waste of water, when your widow cries? 

Oh don't tell me you've never heard of the Shaggs? 

If the atheists are right then I have no need to worry 

For there is no great being whose favour I must curry 

And I'll be going nowhere once they lay me in the earth 

So why waste a Sunday by going to church? 

If you really wanted to 

You could run out right now and buy a Shaggs record 

If the atheists are wrong then I've got a bill that's due 

So should I be a Christian or a Moslem or a Jew 

Should I spend all day just praying on my knees 

And searching through the world for a deity to please 

A Shaggs record would be a sound investment 

Photos 

If the atheists are right then I have no need to worry 

For there is no great being whose favour I must curry 

The fat peoples want what the skinny peoples got 

The skinny peoples want what the fat peoples got 

But all I've ever wanted is what the Shaggs got 

Dat Ding(?) and my pal, Foot Foot