If I Had A Gun Lyrics - Dead Milkmen

Would I be amused 

Would you be impressed 

That I had the power 

To put a hole into your chest? 

When the kids are crying 

And the welfare check's been spent 

Would I rob a liquor store 

To get some money for the rent? 

If I had a gun 

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Would I start smoking Marlboros? 

Would I stop smoking Kents? 

Would I gain some new respect? 

Would I gain some confidence? 

Would I suddenly go crazy 

And shoot my family? 

And see myself years later 

On some crime show on TV 

If I had a gun 

Photos 

Would I wear it in a holster? 

Would I keep it concealed? 

Would I put it on the table 

Every time that I'm misdealed? 

When I hear a nearby gunshot 

When I'm up at night alone 

Would I feel a little safer 

Here in my urban home? 

If I had a gun