Jeff Russell Lyrics - Daymeus

[Intro] 

This is not gonna be easy 

Cause my mind's insisting 

[Verse 1] 

"You'll never make it rappin'" 

And maybe not but since youth I've wanted to be apart of it 

So I can't help hopin' maybe I could just 

If I unwind knots publicly 

Now, I don't wanna jeopardize how eyes see me 

Or how I see me, but I've learned a lot 'bout expressing 

Through curses, I curse, slut, preventin' repressin' 

So, hoes, my hearse is unloadin' depressants 

I doubt my sounds somethin' you'd hear and like 

I'm out, all of my eggs may be prepared 

In one trashcan 

I never reached for yo help, don't pass out holdin' ya breath 

This ain't well-devised rap 

Surprise, it ain't like that 

I find my eyes despise 

Not the confident act some shit songs insist upon (oof) 

I'm insecure as crack dealers who put on a face cause they undercover cops 

I'd be happy to stay, I don't really wanna drop 

Cause I'm scared, to be honest, and scared to be honest 

It's obvi if I am the homage you'll pay 

When I'm out of it, yo get me out 

I'm broke, opportunity's knockin' 

But I'm away coppin' it, copin' with bein alone 

I'm an optimist, locked in a room without oxyg— 

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[Chorus] 

I been at this so long 

But all I have is lost on me 

I am a lost cause 

They surely won't remember me 

When I'm gone 

[Verse 2] 

Look, I'm not fuckin ignant 

My wit won't ignite any rum 

And it's why I'm not bankin' on blowin' up 

This was my fallback food from the nest 

Then, at some sun, began to invest (what?) 

Doin' what I did in literature to songs over these 

Sounds and melodies that poured 

The result of the gray places I been 

Be it a visit or some place I'm still in 

And these tastes bring vile malice, my own talent's a sift 

Of many tapes and disc's dug as a kid, risky business 

Cruisin' around biting who 

What are the odds that no ones wrote that 

Or drew a similar picture wit instrumentals? 

You mental if yo intel ain't tell how many individuals 

Practice at honin' lyrical mags 

And sketchin' beats every free sec they have, lackin' a social 

They immolate all of the slips strayin' you from that new trip you tryin' to take 

Why do I matter? 

Was never a leader or prince 

More of a Norville, didn't battle 

I certainly don't have the voice 

But I do have a voice, no Casey Kasem, though 

I do got dirt to lay 

It ain't really clever and truly I ain't the best 

But fuck me if I can't fucking let loose 

In excess to tell some truth, ah 

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[Chorus] 

I been at this so long (so very, very long) 

But all I have is lost on me (all I have is lost on me) 

I am a lost cause (I am a lost cause) 

They surely won't remember me 

When I'm gone 

[Interlude] 

What even is this? 

This was supposed for you 

I've made all about me 

[Verse 3] 

For 2 verses now I've avoided you (fuck) 

Some tribute, huh? 

I am a coward, a cat, the calamity has me cracked 

I cannot imagine your mother or Alli or Adam 

I shutter at that memory seein' them lower you down 

Now another, among many others 

I've almost lapped you in age but finally on my page, you are 

I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I couldn't face it 

Playin' the victim, even though we did drift 

Maybe if we'd planned one week sooner this... no 

I couldn't prevent it (fuck) 

Every scenario pickin' apart in my head is 

On a loop and denyin' it doesn't remedy so me, I'm movin' forward 

Incorrigible, I'm pourin' up in order to retain a little order 

Formidable opponent; myself 

My thoughts are foreign to me and hangin' onto the beat like an ornament 

I'm givin' it more, this feat 

A coup de force to war, towards me 

So, here is the hope 

I'm finna make it and shove your name down everyone's throat 

You in the loop, now, well known 

Jeff-Jeff-Jeff-Jeff, no Ozzy Osbourne 

I know, I maybe am bat-shit 

Rey-Rey-Rey-Rey, I will 

See you on the other side, that song still reminds me of you 

I look back and smile, I feel like you're near 

Even though I don't believe in it, it's a nice thought 

Rest easy, man 

(Fuck) 

[Chorus] 

I been at this so long (so very fucking long) 

But all I have is lost on me (all I have is lost on me) 

I am a lost cause (I am a lost cause) 

They surely won't remember me 

When I'm gone 

[Outro] 

This is for you Jeff, Heidi, Adam, Kaylee, Alli 

I can't even imagine...