I'm Not Here, And I'm Not All There Lyrics - Daymeus

[Intro] 

Where is he? 

What is this? 

What are you doing? 

What is he doing? 

What's going on? 

Where are you? 

Daymeus? 

Where did he go? 

Damius... where are you? 

[Verse 1] 

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Months I been seated here waitin' 

All for a letter or text 

I gave you the paper to exit this city 

But lately I'm wonderin', like, "was I ready to let go?" 

You're all alone, such unfamiliar air and it's nightmarish 

Though you'll never admit it, the pain is acidic and it wears away 

Thoughts here I won't ever say 

Like, you don't got time? The fuck got you floatin'? 

Clearly not care for your bros well-being 

He's—years old now and—really? 

You don't even know his age? 

I dance around the answers to the question "why" 

Cause you don't give a fuck? 

Or maybe you ain't doin' well, holdin' it in 

Maybe it's pride, you cuttin' blinds, knowin' I'd find out 

My little boy, he stubborn inside 

Passed down from your father and mine 

It's time you let it out, Dami 

Can you blame me? Is it a lot to ask? Shit 

Between fuckin' them whores and Netflix 

But I don't wanna pry, I see now 

I'm a bother, if it helps you sleep sound tell yourself this is enough 

It's clear you're lookin' for you 

I'm just sayin', I'm still here 

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[Interlude] 

[Verse 2] 

First off, I'm not burnt you been givin' 

Like 5% in effort to connect 

I send texts, cards 

But since we in separate yards you can't send support in form of words 

Busy? Nah, your pretense is dirt 

Like us sayin' we not hurt, but ma's hurt 

And dad, he could've fuckin' died 

And I tell you and you get pissed at me for tellin' you 

Before I know exactly what the fuck's wrong 

I was terrified, it seemed right, you deserved to know 

Sorry that I needed my bro's support 

So quick to forget your Coolsville like you're 

Too cool there, in your musical lair 

It bites you feel alone cause I been here 

[Verse 3] 

Dami, you gotta figure this out, what do you want? 

You say you're passion is writing, yet you're not 

You ain't been to school and damn, the sand thinnin' 

Is it rap you wantin'? 

Cause they're opaque, your glasses 

And half full, ya glass is, you're passive 

So I gotta ask, do you really want this? 

You're tellin' everybody it's a hobby but yet 

You neglectin' fam, friends, avoiding a social life 

Relationships, and chances they can't be mended 

And all for this? 

I ain't sayin it's the wrong move 

But you better choose soon 

Before you've lost too much to go back 

I know you wanna see how this ends 

I ain't mad, you're my son and I love you 

Even when I ain't there 

And if you need help, you know I'm here 

[Chorus] 

I've lost my way, lost myself 

And if they come, tell 'em I'm in this hell 

Break me please, I'm unwell 

This is a cry for 

[Verse 4] 

Oh my god, I'm just so fuckin' touched 

Over 2 years passed, yo ass still on us? 

I got a new you, better 

Who knows just what the fuck he wants 

He's head of a restaurant, watchu got? 

Obvi a lot of fuckin' time 

To get yourself twisted and tangled 

Around that web you angled in your favor 

Okay, the song was lame, hon 

Let it go, you bitter dick 

I won't lie, you find your way into my mind sometimes 

But only sometimes and by the sec I realize it's you 

I usually find somethin' to better engage my thoughts 

Hey, you forget you're the one who cut it off? 

I changed or some bull, now I'm a slut? 

How original, I'm so sad I got dumped by this brilliant rapper 

Who attacks in the most un-cliche 

Wanna-replay way, keepsake 

Whatever you need to keep sane 

Keep mocking me, babe, I'm not there 

[Verse 5] 

Yo, have you heard about Damius 

Now he's a rapper (he's rapping?) 

He thinks that he's gonna be famous 

It's fuckin' hilarious, sustaining a sound that people love 

And stayin' around through the changes, I don't judge (nah) 

But I think I'd remember somebody with that much potential 

Essential to rap is producing and oh 

Did I mention? He does that too (wow) 

Big fuckin' news 

I used to rap and my brother he used to produce 

It's fucking common, no Common, no Lamar 

It's comedy fated to lose (true) 

This dude is wasting his youth 

Yeah, I heard from a friend that he moved to LA 

To be a writer for movies 

Indecisive, I'm sure it'll show in his music 

He probably just ain't all there 

[Interlude] 

[Verse 6] 

Listen 

I never been this far from home 

I never felt so damn alone 

I never saw light, bleedin' and feedin' my—no, no, no 

Fuck the excuses there is none 

I'm exhausted, I'm thoroughly forging a memoir 

To me and to all of who's listening 

I apologize mom, may, dad and to anyone else I neglected 

I'm sorry, its just... 

There are things that I needed to say 

Problems I had in my brain but in efforts I've made to express 'em 

I created more pain, all of this shit was in vain 

I feel like cuttin' a vein, wit no cauterizing, down the river 

I may have been bitter but babe 

You ain't infectin' my days 

Truthfully, I did dwell on it often 

But put to rest is that restless mistake 

So don't get confused, I wrote k for me 

Not for you, k? Miss Take 

Let's compare where we're both at in 10 years 

I'll savor the tears, so flavorful 

My hate filled behind bars, a table-full 

Our fate paved to way to this heinous place cause that pain it pull 

So I paint with dull nouns, I'm prayin' they pleasure 

Illogical? Yes, I do feel under pressure 

But to anyone else thinkin my talent-less tales 

Are elaborate lies over-hyping my life 

Wantin' to see if I'm real 

Come find out, I'm right here 

[Chorus] 

I've lost my way, lost myself 

If they come, tell 'em I'm in this hell 

Break me please, I'm unwell 

This is a cry... (help)