The Laughing Gnome Lyrics - David Bowie

I was walking down the high street, 

When I heard footsteps behind me. 

And there was a little old man ([Hello!]) 

In scarlet and gray, chuckling away 

Well he trotted back to my house 

And he sat beside the telly ([Ahh!]) 

With his tiny hands on his tummy 

Chuckling away, laughing all day 

"I ought to report you to the Gnome Office." 

["Gnome Office? Ahahahah!"] 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me, 

Said the laughing gnome 

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Well I gave him roasted toadstools, 

And a glass of dandelion wine. ([*burp* Pardon...]) 

Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne. 

Carried his bag, and gave him a fag. 

["Have you got a light, boy?"] 

"Here, where do you come from?" 

["Gnome-man's land, heehee!"] 

"Oh, really?" 

In the morning, when I woke up, 

He was sitting on the edge of my bed, 

With his brother, whose name was Fred. 

He'd brought him along to sing me a song. 

"Alright, let's hear it... 'ere, what's that clicking noise?" 

["That's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha!"] 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me 

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["Oh now, I'm a gnome, anyway, haha!"] 

"Haven't you got a home to go to?" 

["No, we are gnome-ads, hehe!"] 

"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school? You look like a rolling gnome." 

["Nah, not at the London school of Eco-gnome-ics."] 

Now they're staying up me chimney, 

And we're living on caviar and honey ([Hurray!]) 

Cause they're earning me lots of money 

Writing comedy prose for radio shows 

"It's the, errrr... it's the gnome-service, yes, of course!" 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

(Oh, dear me...) 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me 

([One more time!]) 

Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee 

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me