If That Ain't Country Lyrics - David Allan Coe

The old man was covered with tattoos and scars 

He got some in prison and others in bars 

The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime 

They looked like tombstones in our yard 

And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean 

He sold used parts to make ends meet 

Covered with grease from his head to his feet 

Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquiters 

And the neighbors said we lived like hicks 

But they brung their cars for pa to fix anyhow 

He was veteran-proud tried and true 

He'd fought till his heart was black and blue 

Didn't know how he'd made it through the hard times 

He bought our house on the GI Bill 

But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to git it 

He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black 

Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack 

Had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes 

He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake 

And there wasn't too much that he would take from a stranger 

There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs 

A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs 

I spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter 

Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord 

Workin' like a nigger for my room and board 

Coal-burnin' stove - no natural gas 

If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass 

If that ain't country, it'll harelip the Pope 

If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke 

I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I've met Johnny Cash 

If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass 

Mama sells eggs at a grocery store 

My oldest sister is a first-rate whore 

Dad says she can't come home anymore and he means it 

Ma just sits and keeps her silence 

Sister, she left 'cause dad got violent and he knows it 

Mama she's old far beyond her time 

From choppin' tobacco and I've seen her cryin' 

When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand and it hurt me 

She'd just keep workin', tryin' to help the old man 

To the end of one row and back again like always 

She's been through hell since Junior went to jail 

When the lights go out, she ain't never failed 

To get down on her knees and pray because she loves him 

Told all the neighbors he was off in the war 

Fightin' for freedom - he's good to the core and she's proud 

Now our place was a graveyard for automobiles 

At the end of the porch, there was four stacks of wheels 

And tires for sale for a dollar or two - cash 

There was fifty holes in an old tin roof 

Me and my family we was livin' proof 

That people who forgot about poor white trash 

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass 

If that ain't country, it'll harelip the Pope 

If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke 

I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I've met Johnny Cash 

If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass