Dear Penis Lyrics - David Allan Coe

dear penis, 

i dont think i like you anymore, 

you used to watch me shave, 

now all ya do is stare at the floor, 

oh dear penis, 

i dont like you anymore. 

it used to be you and me, 

a paper towel and a dirty magazine, 

thats all we needed to get by, 

now it seems things have changed, 

and i think that youre the one to blame, 

dear penis, 

i dont like you anymore. 

he sings 

dear rodney, 

i dont think i like you anymore, 

cos when you get to drinking, 

you put me places ive never been before, 

dear rodney, 

i dont like you anymore. 

why cant we just get a grip, 

on our man to hand relationship, 

come to terms with truly how we feel, 

if we put our heads together, 

we'd just stay home forever, 

dear penis, 

i think i like you after all. 

oh and rodney, 

while you're shaving, shave my balls.