Lewis And Clark Lyrics - C.w. Mccall

(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis) 

Now Arnold Jones an' MaryBeth Jensen's in a 'Vette down by the Deep Rock 

Had John Denver on the 8-track, gettin' high 

MaryBeth's wig was on the floor 

An' Arnold's feet was out the door 

When we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled eyes 

I says "What chew doin' boy? 

Don't chew know that's against the law? 

We just gonna hafta get this situation under control 

Now my name is Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark 

We the Pottawattamie County Love Patrol." 

Then two hippies in a Chevy's puffin' grass an' sippin' wine 

'Bout fourteen mile south-east a' Council Bluffs 

They's passin' 'round the peace-pipe 

When we caught 'em with our flashlight 

An' Willard's hairy hands applied the cuffs. 

I says, "Boys you got some trouble 

You committin' herb-i-cide. 

We just gonna hafta get this situation under control 

'Cause I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark 

We the Pottawattamie County Weed Patrol." 

Then we spied ol' Marvin Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine 

Like a midnight auto ac-cessory store on wheels 

His trunk was full a' hub caps 

An' his back seat full a' tires 

When we picked him up and made him spread his heels 

I says, "Hands up-on the wall, boy 

You allowed t' make one call 

We just gonna hafta get this situation under control 

Cause, see, I'm Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark 

We the Pottawattamie County Rip-off Patrol." 

Then Orval Hinkle left the Go-Go Club on his brand-new motor-sickle 

Runnin' stop-lights, raisin' hell an' causin' accidents 

His brain was doin' wheelies 

An' his blood was three-two beer 

When we nailed him in his driveway at his residence 

I says, "Orval, you're in trouble boy 

But if you'll blow this here balloon up 

We gonna get your situation under control 

Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis an' this here's Willard Clark 

We the Pottawattamie County Juice Patrol." 

Then we's passin' by the Dew Drop Inn when he heard this woman scream 

So we pulled on in an' parked an' got the guns out 

Well we bashed on through the lobby into unit seventeen 

There's twenty-eight folks in there without no clothes on. 

I says "Everbody up against the wall; show us yer identification. 

We just gonna definitely get this situation under control 

'Cause my name is Fairweather Lewis, an' this here's Willard Clark 

We the Pottawattamie County Sin Patrol." 

C'mon, Willard, let's go sneakin' 'round in the dark some more, never know what yer gonna find.