Getting Married Today Lyrics - Singles - Company

Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody's here, I 

Want to thank you all for coming to the wedding, I'd appreciate 

Your going even more, I mean you must have lots of better things 

To do, and not a word of this to Paul, remember Paul, you know, 

The man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin 

Anyone as wonderful as he is-- 

Thank you all 

For the gifts and the flowers, 

Thank you all, 

Now it's back to the showers, 

Don't tell Paul, 

But I'm not getting married today. 

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Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for, 

A wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual 

Where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is 

Maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is 

Followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's 

Saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should-- 

Thanks a bunch, 

But I'm not getting married-- 

Go have lunch, 

'Cause I'm not getting married-- 

You've been grand, 

But I'm not getting married-- 

Don't just stand there, 

I'm not getting married-- 

And don't tell Paul, 

But I'm not getting married today. 

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Go, can't you go? 

Why is no- 

Body listening? 

Goodbye 

Go and cry 

At another person's wake 

If you're quick 

For a kick 

You could pick 

Up a christening 

But please 

On my knees 

There's a human life at stake! 

Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to 

See a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Paul 

Who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing 

Our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to 

See him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with 

The other garbage-- 

I'm not well, 

So I'm not getting married-- 

You've been swell, 

But I'm not getting married-- 

Clear the hall, 

'Cause I'm not getting married-- 

Thank you all, 

But I'm not getting married-- 

And don't tell Paul, 

But I'm not getting married today. 

Go, can't you go? 

Look, you know 

I adore you all 

But why 

Watch me die , 

Like Eliza on the ice? 

Look, perhaps 

I'll collapse 

In the apse 

Right before you all, 

So take 

Back the cake, 

Burn the shoes and boil the rice. 

Look, I didn't wanna have to 

Tell you, but I may be coming 

Down with Hepatitis, and I 

Think I'm gonna faint, so if 

You wanna see me faint, I'll 

Do it happily, but wouldn't 

It be funnier to go and watch 

A funeral, so thank you for the 

Twenty-seven dinner plates, 

Thirty-seven butter knives, 

Forty-seven paperweights, 

Fifty-seven candleholders-- 

One more thing-- 

I am not getting married! 

But I'm not getting married! 

Still I'm not getting married! 

See, I'm not getting married! 

That I'm not getting married 

Today!