Det Satan Club Lyrics - Singles - College Humor

Guy 1: Hello Christian internet. Welcome to our black metal weblog Det Satan Club. 

Guy 2: Det Satan Club! 

(Cue music) 

Yaghhhhhhhhhh 

Deep in the bowels of Norway 

Where every church has third-degree burns 

Det Satan Club presents 

Pictures 

Pictures 

Pictures for Christians 

(Music ends) 

Guy 1: You Christians love to see pictures of your precious Jesus, suffering on the cross. 

Guy 2: You love it 

Guy 1: But we are Satanists. We desecrate what you love by creating images of Jesus in comfortable positions. Like 

(Cue music) 

Jesus in a bubble bath 

Jesus in a bubble bath 

Making suds and having fun 

Jesus lounging poolside 

Jesus in a chaise lounge 

Sipping on delicious drinks 

Jesus getting beauty rest 

Jesus making sure he doesnt 

End up getting crows feet 

(Music ends) 

Guy 1: Christians hate to see pictures of your Jesus so comfortable. 

Guy 2: It makes you rigid with fear 

Guy 1: If you saw Jesus inyoga pants, youre- f- youd- f- youd shit yourself. You- your face would shit. 

Guy 2: Your face would shit 

Guy 1: Cause you fight us. You Christians love to fight. Especially with other religions. 

Guy 2: You love fighting with them! 

Guy 1: But we are Satanists. We desecrate what you love by creating images of a world where 

(Cue music) 

All religions get along 

Christians and Muslims 

Jews and the other ones 

Riding tandem bicycles 

Maybe at a sleepover 

The Christians and Muslims will have 

Slug wars in sleeping bags 

Slug wars equal friendship 

(End music) 

Guy 1: We imagine a world where Christians and Jews and Muslims play Pictionary together. And not the way family members play where they are at each others throats, but the way strangers play where they are on their best behaviour. 

Guy 2: Pictionary is fun without the family politics! 

Guy 1: You Christians love imagining that the world will end when four horsemen arrive to signal the apocalypse. 

Guy 2: So do we*pause* 

(Cue music) 

But the horsemen are cool dudes 

Frosted tips and visors 

Having fun on seadoos 

Helping kids with homework 

High-fiving people with self-esteem problems 

While Satan watches thinking 

(Music ends) 

Satan: Yesthis pleases me.