Where The Grass Don't Grow Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Parody of "Where the Green Grass Grows" by Tim McGraw (Jess Leary/Craig Wiseman), Song Matters Inc. (ASCAP)/Leary's Tavern Music (ASCAP)/Daddy Rabbit Music (ASCAP)/Famous Music Corp(ASCAP)/Almo Music Corp. (ASCAP) 

New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC) 

(Coughs) 

Ahhhh...uh 

Oh (coughs) 

AHHHCHOOOOOO 

Ah my head feels as big as a dad blang basketball 

It's a shame I'm a sight 

Red eyes itchy both day and night 

My head's all stuffed up tight again 

Oh no spring's back 

Another dang allergy attack 

I bought some Sudafed 

And took the whole dern pack 

And I still can't breathe and I cough and I hack 

I want to live where the grass don't grow 

I'm sick and tired of blowin my nose 

Never again will you hear me go ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

So much congestion in my chest 

Doctor's said that it might be best 

For me to move where the pollen count is low 

Where the grass don't grow 

I wonder if Tim McGraw's got any of that snifflin night time 

Sneezin achin stuffy head coughin 

Wake up on the top of your tour bus medicine for me 

(coughs) 

I sold my leaf blower 

My two horsepower push mower 

Won't see me outdoors this time of year 

(coughs) 

This ragweed is a getting rough 

My hay fever is getting tough 

I'm all out of Vicks Vapo Rub 

And there's dust everywhere 

And enough is enough 

I want to live where the grass don't grow 

A big high rise or a small condo 

If I never blow again it'll be too soon 

Won't ever touch another garden tool 

I'll sip Margueritas by the swimming pool 

There will be one less seed I'll have to sew 

Where the grass don't grow 

(Coughs and sneezes) 

:Oh my head 

Here we go 

I want to live where the grass don't grow 

It's killing me here where the mulch blowers blow 

I've tried everything I know to do 

Can't keep the sneezin cough suppressed 

Try to give my sinuses a rest 

I'm going to go where the pollen count is low 

Where the grass don't grow 

(Sneezes and coughs till end)