The Grundy County Spitting Incident Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Parody of Sold: The Grundy County Auction by John Michael Montgomery (R. Fagan/R.Royer), Of Music (ASCAP)/RobbRoy West Music (BMI) 

New Lyrics (Skoal) by Cledus T. Judd and Chris Clark La-Po Music/Chris Clark Publishing Designee. 

New Lyrics (Stoled) by Cledus T. Judd, Bruce Burch, Dan Saranana, Rich Fagen, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Music (SESAC), Of Music (ASCAP)/Dan Saranana Publishing Designee 

Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get me a can of Skoal. 

Well, we went down to the Grundy County auction 

The sign said no tobaccer where we sat 

My wife told me that I should spit with caution 

Or else we'll all wind up in a big ol' spat 

And I said hush your mouth nobody's gonna mind 

If I pack my lip and ignore the sign 

'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all 

Then, I've never seen anyone get so mad 

From a little bit of spit on his John Deere hat 

But I spit on him once, spit on him twice 

Spit Skoal on the feller in the second row 

Well he turned around and nearly broke my nose 

I got a big fat lip, two black eyes 

Shoulda just went and dipped outside 

Well, it musta been about eight or nine more minutes 

Until I pulled that can of Skoal back out 

And I knew when I put my fingers in it 

That I'd just spit it out amongst the crowd 

...Look out! 

And you know I really don't care if anybody minds 

A pinch 'tween your cheek and gum is not a crime 

So I'll do my spittin' and to heck with the rest of y'all 

Well I've never saw people gettin' so dang mad 

Worst County auction they've ever had 

'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice 

Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess 

I even got a little on a lady's white dress 

But in the end they got me back you see 

They all took a dip and spit on me 

Well, they pinned me down on the auction block 

And took my Skoal away 

And the town still hates to talk about 

The mess that was made that day 

When I said hush your mouth, nobody's gonna mind 

If I pack my lip and ignore the sign 

'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all 

Well, I've never saw people gettin' so derned mad 

The worst County auction they've ever had 

'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice 

Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess 

I even got a little on a lady's white dress 

Shoulda swallowed my dip, swallowed my pride 

Shoulda just went and spit outsiiiiiiide. 

Whew! 

Boy, that was horrible! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Well I went down to a Music City function 

Where I just heard a song that I had to howl out 

My lawyers told my to proceed with caution 

Or I'd make a whole lot of songwriters mad 

Uh-huh 

And I said 

Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind 

If I take a song and make it mine all mine 

Like I did so many times with old Tim McGraw's 

Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine 

Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines 

Well I stole it once stole it twice 

I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row 

Well he just moved to town and he didn't know 

About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI 

So he might as well kiss his song goodbye 

I had my number two pencil going about a mile a minute 

Till I had his ideas all written down 

And I knew I really went and did it 

When the police came and hauled my butt downtown 

And I said 

Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind 

If I steal a song and make it mine all mine 

Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw's 

Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine 

Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines 

Well I stole it once stole it twice 

I STOLE that song and I must confess 

When I went to court I plead no contest 

Got a big fat lip and two black eyes 

Never should have messed with his copyright 

Yeah 

I told the judge I had writers block but he hauled my butt away 

And now it hurts too much to laugh about the song I stole that day 

When I said 

Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind 

If I steal a song and make it mine all mine 

Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw 

Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine 

Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines 

So I stole it once stole it twice 

I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row 

Well he just moved to town and he didn't know 

About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI 

So he might as well kiss his song goodbye 

(GASP) 

EYE 

STOLE 

WHEE!!!!