Ricky Tidwell's Mama Is Gonna Play Football Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Uh, Ricky Tidwell was a great athlete 

He was a big strong boy that was quick on his feet 

And every college in the country wanted Ricky blocking on their line 

But when the scouts came knocking on Ricky's door 

They didn't want to talk to young Rick no more 

When they saw his mama she's the one they wanted to sign 

She was a real bold woman raised on a farm 

Had Bear Bryant tattooed on her forearm 

She was meaner than heck ran the 40 in 4.3 

Well she could squat 600 bench press 5 

The hands down meanest homemaker alive 

Got a scholarship playing linebacker in the SEC 

Ricky Tidwell's mama is gonna play football 

Her real name's Doris but they're gonna call her Too Tall 

She's got shoulders and a hind end four foot wide 

Going to college on a full ride 

Mrs. Tidwell's wouldn't play in the NC-double-A 

She would wash all her team mates uniforms 

Tucked everybody in in the football dorms 

Cooked the game meal, say the Lord's prayer 

You're missing a jockstrap? She's got a spare 

Crawled in the huddle, and called all the plays 

The only one tough enough to go both ways 

Yeah, her mouth full of mud, scoured up knees 

Cussing out the coaches and the referees 

Ricky Tidwell's mama's gonna play football 

Her real name's Doris 

Everybody calls her Too Tall 

They say she's a fine young man but she's really not 

She's the master of the cheap shot 

And on the triple option play she'd ruin your day 

She led the team in tackles and the league in sacks 

Responsible for killing nine running backs 

But the school's reputation was destroyed 

They accused Ricky's mama of steroids 

(I thought that woman was awful stout) 

Oh Ricky Tidwell's mama's on probation 

Well the college has started an investigation 

They wouldn't leave poor Ricky Tidwell's mama alone 

Said she'd been takin' male hormones 

Mrs. Tidwell's gonna do well 

In the NFL 

Ricky Tidwell's mama 

(15 yard penalty, illegal use of a clothesline) 

Ricky Tidwell's mama 

(Can I have your autograph ma'am) 

Ricky Tidwell's mama 

(Or is that sir) 

Ricky Tidwell's mama