Quit Teasin' Me Ed Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Cledus T. Judd/Vern Dant, La-Po Music (BMI)/Music Genesis(ASCAP) 

Hey Cledus, Whad'ya get in the mail? 

He-he-he, got a letter from Ed. 

What's it say? 

I don't know. D'you get one? 

Well, open it up! 

He-hahahahahahaha! 

...Open it. 

I quit my job about a year ago, I'm on a permanent vacation 

All I gotta do now is sit back and wait'll my notification 

You see, old Ed, he's a friend of mine, and he writes me once a week 

Sends me my very own winnin' numbers 

I'm practically on easy street 

Well, I don't know, I reckon Ed just likes me a little better'n everybody else 

I'm sure he's been tryin' to reach me, 

But uh, I've been out on tour with Garth Brooks. He-hehehehe 

Now, you might think pricin' a Mercedes might be a jumpin' the gun 

But hey, I got a letter from Ed today that said I may've already won! 

Quit teasin me Ed 

...Quit teasin me Ed 

My kids need to be fed 

...My kids need to be fed 

I believed what you said 

...I believed what you said 

Quit teasin' me Ed 

You promised me wealth 

...You promised me wealth 

And a new Dodge Stealth 

...And a new Dodge Stealth 

I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead 

...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead 

Quit teasin' me Ed 

They say the odds are again' me 

But I got my own little scheme 

Instead of just one or two, I order All the magazines! 

I get Glamour, Cosmo, Redbook, Seventeen, Good Housekeepin', and Popular Mechanics 

I even got bored one time and ordered The Joy Of Ceramics! 

Now Ed, I can't sing or dance, and I'll never be on Star Search 

But if you don't hurry up 'n send my check, I'm gonna start thinkin' you a jerk 

Well, not really Ed, doggonnit it's been such a long time 

My car's been repo'd, my house note's four month's behind 

Ed, I don't mean to complain, and I know you're a busy man 

But, could you at least send me one of them early entry prizes 

I'm you're biggest fan, I swear! 

Quit teasin' me Ed 

...Quit teasin' me Ed 

My kids need to be fed 

...My kids need to be fed 

I believed what you said 

...I believed what you said 

Quit teasin' me Ed 

You promised me wealth 

...You promised me wealth 

And a new Dodge Stealth ...And a new Dodge Stealth 

I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead 

...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead 

Quit teasin' me Ed 

Cledus T., you may have already won!