Please Take The Girl Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin' 

If he'd just dig the bait 

He said, "Get lost, Dad, I'm watchin' mud wrestling 

Go jump in the lake 

Why don't you take that neighbor girl? 

The one that favors our dog" 

His dad said, "Son, she might sink the boat 

She weighs more than our hog" 

And Arnie said, "She's got a tackle box 

That you'd kill for a Zebco rod and reel 

She won the Junior Bass Masters Tourney 

And I just ate oatmeal, and I'm afraid I might hurl 

Daddy, please, please take the girl" 

I'd rather take a cane and then go fishin' 

Same limey boy, same large girl 

Eleven years with no date 

They finally married when they both realized 

They'd get a big tax break 

One night at the laundrymat washin' underwear 

A stranger pulled a water-gun 

Arnie soiled another pair and whimpered 

"Ain't got no money in my wallet 

She's got the credit cards 

But they're all run up over the limit 

Won't get you very far 

And though her hair's up in curls 

And she looks like Milton Burle 

She ain't wearin' fake pearls 

Mister please, please, please take the girl" 

Well, she ain't bad 

When she gets a couple of coats of 

That cold cream on her and a sack over her head 

A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman 

Forty years down the tune 

One day they found him with a shotgun 

Buck-naked on the roof 

Doctor's said, "He's lost his mind 

We'll have to take him away" 

As they strapped that straight jacket on him 

Someone heard him say, he babled out loud 

"If you'd lived with her, long as I have 

You'd be slap crazy too 

She's the one that's really a psycho 

More than a few screws loose 

She's nutty as a squirrel 

Doctor, please, please take the girl" 

Get her outta here! 

Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin' 

If he'd just dig the bait 

Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson 

I'm trying to imitate 

Sorry Tim