One Jack Off Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Every Friday night I go to bubba's hardware store 

and give the secret knock on the private stockroom door 

good ol' boys are shootin craps playin' five card stud 

hot lookin' women 

ice cold suds 

this blonde was playin' poker 

she was on a roll 

I sat down beside her with my ace in the hole 

I had to draw a jack to win 

with a stright ace high 

but win I drew that card 

I kissed that pot goodbye 

cause Im one jack off 

here in my hand 

I got an ace, a king, a queen, and a ten and 

now Im in a jam 

I was doin' fine till I pulled that nine 

thats win I went soft 

I was temptin fate with an ace high stright 

but Im one jack off 

Ive played with this deck so long its messin' with my mind 

Ive heard it said to much of this it can make a man go blind 

I can't let her beat me but I aint got a prayer 

Im sure shes got a real good hand 

I see shes got a pair 

I stared accross the table 

hopin' that she calls 

then when she raised me 

well I dang near lost it all 

I tried to pull it out figurin' Id bluff 

but win I showed her what I had 

she said to bad your one jack off 

Im just one jack off 

aint that great 

she said nice try but nine, ten, queen, king, ace dont make a stright 

I said how about another round 

she said adie up there hoss 

she took all my money 

and Im still one jack off 

Im one jack off 

just my luck 

she won my favorite pair of cowboy boots 

and the pink slip to my truck 

I knew Id have to come again next week 

to get back what I lost 

thats the story of my life 

its seems Im always one jack off 

thats right 

one jack off