Merry Christmas From The Whole Fam Damily Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

It was the fight before Christmas when all through the house 

No furniture left standing, no TV or couch 

Our aquarium, heck they even knocked over my Chia Pet 

MeMaw was flung 'cross the room by her hair 

By her sister Ethel who never fought fair 

Let's get ready to tumble 

The children all wrestled and jumped off the beds 

Dropping elbows and knees on each other's heads 

And MaMaw wth her frying pan and Pa with his bat 

Cleared half the room in ten seconds flat 

The whole brawl began from an innocent matter 

When Aunt Flo thought Eugene said, "She looks a whole lot fatter" 

She knocked him through the window he fell with a crash 

Tore down the gutters and busted his leg really bad 

You ought to have saw it 

It looked like he'd been in a motorcycle wreck 

No kiddin', yeah, awful I couldn't turn to look at it 

See both sides of our family have never gotten along 

And every holiday something always go wrong 

You ain't supposed to fight but spread joy in this season 

But when they get the nog they just look for a reason 

In no time at all everybody joined in 

And right there we squared off with our closest of kin 

"It's a time for givin'" said Uncle Bill 

As he gave a black eye to his brother-in-law, Phil 

I heard somebody say, "It's the thought that counts 

And right now I'm thinking about knocking your butt out" 

Presents and fists flew all over the room 

And NaNa had some fancy moves with the broom 

She took out three cousins and knocked down the tree 

And I ducked just in time she swung out at me 

It's my favorite time of year 

Dad always has too much beer 

Get's on the roof and hunts reindeer 

Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily 

Tie the antlers on the dog 

Save some shine for Santa Claus 

From all the in-laws and outlaws 

Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily 

I crawled to the phone, Lord, it seemed like a mile 

And called 911 which we keep on speed dial 

In a matter of minutes out the window appeared 

Flashing blue lights and the Sherrif John Deere 

Just then six men burst through the door 

Some yelling, "Hey, it's us", some, "Get on the floor" 

A stray punch from Grandpa found the Sherrif's chin 

And just for good measure he clocked him again 

It took all 6 cops to get Grandpa in cuffs 

You know he gets feisty when he runs out of snuff 

We all stopped our fighting and cheered Grandpa on 

Heck I thought he could take them I guess I was wrong 

As they dragged him outside he yelled, "I've been framed" 

He was kicking and screaming and calling them names 

"You **** You ****, let me go you **** 

You donut eatin stupid **** son of a ****" 

We stood on the porch as did all our neighbours 

Who always took interest in our family's behavior 

"Mind your own business" we heard Grandma shout 

And "We'll take back the presents and then come bail you out" 

By now we'd forgotten what we'd been fighting for 

We were battered and bruised but united once more 

Then we all joined hands and sang "Violent Night" 

Violent Night 

And we heard Grandpa exclaim as they drove off out of sight 

"Merry Christmas to all, man that was a good fight" 

Deck your neighbor, deck the halls 

'Tis the season for a brawl 

From all of us to all of y'all 

Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily 

Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily 

Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily