If Shania Was Mine Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Parody of Any Man Of Mine by Shania Twain (S. Twain/R. Lange) Loon Echo Music (BMI)/Zomba Enterprises (ASCAP) 

New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Cris Clark, La-Po Music (BMI)/Chris Clark Publishing Designee. 

This is what Cledus T. wants... 

If Shania was mine 

Wouldn't be proud of me 

Couldn't hardly blame her 

Cuz I'm so derned ugly 

But on our first date 

We could have a good time 

If I got her on the moonshine 

If Shania was mine 

Say it fit just right 

Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight 

And there's no way 

I'd have a bad hair day 

Cuz I'd buy a new toupee' 

Oh, I'd love to seduce her 

But she married her producer 

Now all I do is pray, pray, pray! 

She'll get a deevorce someday 

If Shania was mine 

I'd probably lose my mind 

If she only squeezed me, teased me 

Pleased me one good time 

And if she only knew 

All the things I'd do 

I'd be the lawn mowin, crop growin 

Tater peelin, house cleanin kind 

If Shania was mine 

Ha huh 

If Shania was mine 

She'd have to agree 

Can't no one cook road kill better than me 

Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback 

She'd say "Mmm, I like it like that" cha... 

Now all I do is wonder 

Whose bed have her boots been under 

I wish she'd hadda been mine 

Now I whine, whine! 

That girl is so doggone fine 

If Shania was mine 

I think I'd go slap blind 

Starin' at her yummy little tummy 

And her booty shakin' round behind 

And if she only knew 

All the things I'd do 

I'd be the lawn mowin' crop growin' 

Tater peelin' house cleanin' kind 

If Shania, if Shania, if Shania, 

If Shania, if Shania (ACK HACK) 

Now was that Mutt Lange or Deewight Yokel 

When she shimmies and shakes 

It's more than I can take 

Oh, what she does to me in them videos 

Wife's gonna leave me if I don't explain 

What I see in Shania Twain 

I'd love to see her in a magazine 

Centerfold if you know what I mean 

Oh me-a oh my-a 

I wish that Shania 

Would buy me a house in South Carolina 

Two, four, six, eight, nine 

Oh I wish that Shania was mine! 

he he he huh huh 

Want to be a gal of mine...