Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (bonus Track) Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy (R. Brook), Kris Publishing Co./Elmo Publishing (SESAC) 

New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Bruce Burch, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Publishing (SESAC) 

CHORUS 

Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere 

Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve. 

Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa, 

But after suing John Deere, I believe... 

He'd been a-guzzlin' old Jack Daniels 

And smokin' that wacky weed- 

He mixed it with his medication 

And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice. 

When we found him Christmas mornin' 

We thought he had a heart attack. 

But he had tar prints on his forehead 

And incriminatin' hickies on his neck. 

(ON HIS WHAT???) 

CHORUS 

But we're all ashamed of Grandpa. 

He took Grandma's death too well. 

Started watchin' porno movies 

And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle. 

It's a better Christmas without Grandpa 

Last year in church, he mooned the choir. 

At first, we thought it was Alzheimer's, 

But looking back, we realized he was wired. 

CHORUS 

Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit 

And they awarded me two mil. 

You know Grandpa didn't leave me nuthin', 

But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed. 

Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras 

Turned up on the grand jury, 

(laughs) I bribed 'em like Johnny Cochran 

Did when they set O.J. Simpson free. 

GUIL-TY!!! 

CHORUS (x2)