Coronary Life Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Cledus at the kitchen table 

Short of breath, legally disabled 

Wife walks in, she's so surprised 

Can't believe I'm still alive 

I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy 

That patty melt that you always made me 

But I can't eat that anymore 

They say grease kills, tastes good to me 

Day in, day out, it's all I eat 

My third bypass, unclogged the valves 

Just to clog them again 

Never felt worse, a constant thirst 

Lordy how my left arm hurts 

I blame my job, I blame my wife 

For this coronary life 

Cledus on the ER table 

Vital signs ain't too stable 

"Hey, Doc, I'm proud of you 

I didn't think that I'd pull through" 

Later in Intensive Care 

I had the nurses laughing there 

So thankful Blue Cross will pay 

For the bills, my IVs 

Four thousand dollar, EKGs 

That's the last time I need 

Angioplasty 

It's off I go to Tye-Bo 

To improve my cardio 

It's about time I said goodbye 

To my coronary life 

Sweat's pouring off me at the health spa 

The Stairmaster's wore me out again 

You know I can't believe how much I miss 

The way I used to live 

I'd eat red meat, pickled pigs' feet 

Always craving something sweet 

My food was fast but that's the past 

I can't eat fat again 

Aerobicize, reduced my thighs 

No more German chocolate pie 

I miss my fudge, I miss my fries 

And my coronary life