Cledus Went Down To Florida Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

Cledus went down to Florida, he was lookin' for a car to steal 

He was in a bind, ten payments behind, so the bank reposed his wheels 

When he came across this old man down at Jalopy's Used Car Lot 

Then Cledus jumped up on the top of one and said 

"Feller, let me tell ya what, now I'm not gonna be proud of the deed 

I'm 'bout to do, well, no time to spare, I gotta be somewhere 

So I'm gonna steal a car from you, now I've seen you're selection here 

And I admit the pickings are few I know the Pintos gold 

But consider it stoled 'cause I got a show to do" 

The man said, "My name's Jalopy" 

As he gave an evil grin 

'Cause he knew that car wouldn't get too far 

For the motor blew up again 

Cledus you better hit the road if you're gonna be a star 

The shows way up in Georgia, and you're opening up for Garth 

You're future's ridin' on this shiny Pinto painted gold 

And if you're late it's Jeff Foxworthy's show 

Oh gosh, a Pinto my foot 

It drives more like a horse and buggy, dern 

Cledus said, "No way in heck he's gonna open up that show" 

Then fire flew from the manifold as his right front tire blowed 

Then he pushed that wreck across the street, 'n man was Cledus tissed 

And he tried 'n tried to start 'er up, but it sounded somethin' like this 

Come on, come on, oh gosh, I'm in a mess 

What am I gonna do? 

My one big shot for Garth Brooks 

Oh dern it 

When Cledus opened up the hood 

He said, "I'll be a son of a gun" 

And it didn't take long to figure out 

Why the heck it wouldn't run 

Fire from the engine, lots of smoke 

He can already hear them redneck jokes 

Dad blamed oil pan layin' in the road 

Will he make the show? Heck no, heck no 

Taxi, Greyhound, yeller cab, somebody 

I'll show him a redneck 

He'll have a red neck 

When I get my hands around his throat 

I'm sick of it 

Cledus shook his head as he watched Foxworthy's show 

And he heard him joke of how he passed a burnin' old Pinto 

Then later on, Garth told Cledus, "You'll never get the chance again" 

As he gave the check to that derned redneck 

Who drove a Mercedes Benz 

He said, "Tough break big guy before I go 

Would ya like to hear another redneck joke? 

Did you know I got my own TV show?" 

Well, does anybody watch it? No, heck no 

Well, you might be a redneck 

If your momma and daddy catches ya out behind the barn 

Whippin' Jeff Foxworthy for talkin' about rednecks all time 

Ah shoot, I'm just kiddin' Jeff 

I wished I could be your best friend 

Do you like me? I'd love to be on your TV show 

Come here to me