Dinner Lady Lyrics - Cabbage

I'm a dinner lady 

In a private school 

Where the lips are so stiff and Jack Wills is so cool 

I wear a baseball cap 

And thus branded a fool 

But if you piss me off then you'll be eating my drool 

When I'm stealing food 

Or hiding in the loos 

I'm jacked up on the hot counter to serve a ball of food 

A fat teacher approaches 

With a wobbly hip 

And I politely inform her that we're all out of chips 

She gives me a glare 

As I bite my fingertips 

I offer new potatoes and she absolutely flips 

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But then i ponder 

How hard her life must be 

I mean it's all on a plate thanks to my ma and daddy 

But regardless of the car 

And this cushy job 

This bitch won't settle without corn on the cob 

And then one day 

I got so bored and idle 

Served enough sausage rolls to make me suicidal 

To combat this state 

I had a wank in the quiche 

And I watched the headmaster get it stuck to his teeth 

(oh) 

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh 

Oh 

(I am a dinner lady) 

(Oh and it's a true story) 

(Oh i wanna sausage roll) 

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Suffice to say 

I wasn't bored anymore 

And i couldn't stop my laughing as i scrubbed up on the floor 

And next time Jeffrey's mother 

Asks him what he had for tea 

He can tell her it was a fluid 

That once belonged to me. 

(hey) 

(oh) 

(It's all for me, I'm a) 

(A dinner lady) 

(It's all for me) 

(Oh I am a dinner lady) 

(And it's a true, tr-tr-tr-tr-tr-true story) 

(Tr-true) 

Oh 

And it's a tr-true, true story 

Life as a dinner lady 

Oh and it's a true story 

Giggleswick school!