Two Pints Lyrics - Buckethead

Hey Mr Bartender, give me a drink 

I wanna cold wet glass with bubbles in it 

And that doesn't mean I can't handle 

Anything stronger now, just think I'll wait a while 

I'll have a pint of lager please 

And a pack of flakies 

Give me a pint of lager please 

And a can of baked beans 

So hey, Mrs Tongue Driver, give us a squeeze 

But put your coat back down 'cos I ain't ready to leave 

This doesn't mean I don't wanna take you back 

You'll just have to wait for that 

I'll have a pint of lager please 

A complimentary striptease 

Give me a pint of lager please 

And a bag of green peas 

Take me to the kebab hut 

So fill me up with flakes of manky mutton 

High up to the top and don't be putting veg on that 

Don't want no cabbage patch kebab, a dab of ketchup 

Make it red and please make sure the sheep is dead 

And throw some peppers in the bag 

Would you like chili sauce on that? 

And a pint of lager, please 

With a pack of flakies 

Give me a pint of lager, please 

Some soft scoop ice cream 

So hey, Mr Cab Driver, give me some breeze 

It's been a long long night and it's repeating on me 

And that doesn't mean it's time to 

You know what I mean? Just open the window, geez 

I'll have a pint of lager please 

Don't give a monkey's 

Give me a pint of lager please 

And some processed cheese