Tonya Lyrics - Brockhampton

And mother, I am sorry, I never pick up, mm-hmm 

Because I'm afraid to disappoint ooh, ooh-ah, ooh, no 

Hey, and I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to 

Hey, and I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to 

We were sat outside on the hardwood floor 

With our feet in dirt, and our hearts in awe 

I be losin' sleep thinkin' 'bout missed calls 

And I see the names circling our thoughts 

And I think about if we lose it all 

And I turn to shit that you'd never want 

Like the smoke, the drink, anything at all 

And I'll say again: sorry I don't call 

There's no money on my mind 

But my money or my mind 

What's the first to fall? 

I never wanted this shit, yeah 

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Hey, and I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to 

Hey, and I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to 

Sometimes it be so spot on it hurts 

Like when Auntie couldn't decide 

Between going to work or church 

I've been in my feelings on an island in the dirt 

I feel like brothers lie just so my feelings don't get hurt 

I said, I'll try vacation, I'll try to run away 

I deleted Facebook, I'll trade fame any day 

For a quiet Texas place and a barbecue plate 

I'll switch my place if that's good for you, is that good for you? 

My ghost still haunt you, my life is I, Tonya 

A big eyed monster, only face to conquer 

I hated songs about fame 'cause that stuff meant nothin' 

Until them headlines came, then first flight I'm stuckin' 

Photos 

And maybe it means nothing 

But I have to say I think about you often 

And if you want no part with me 

I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged ya 

And maybe it means nothing 

But I have to say I think about you often 

And if you want no part with me 

I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged ya 

I took a plane to somewhere that I've never been 

Too many times without my sister and my brother 

Dad or mother by my side but they're in spirit 

I always hear it, I know they feel it 

My mom will always have these dreams that used to keep her up at night 

I smoke to keep them all away and make use of the time 

I'm void of feelin' 

The reasons I'm so out of touch now start revealin' 

But I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid of who I am 

Or how I trust my mental, yeah, it's not perfect 

But I guess that's just the shit I'm into 

I fantasize about a time when everything was simple 

My shelter sheltered me from things I needed to commit to 

The way it stands to me 

A victim of Stockholm in my friendships and family 

What's costin' you time? What's the reason that you whine? 

What's in your wallet? Dead whites in mine 

So sour, in this light of lime 

Daddy said "study or get that cash" 

Mommy said "your career ain't gon' last" 

Loose change, call a cab, move out their pad 

I just need a chance to move past my past 

Don't think too fast, private jets still crash 

And I'll still fly coach, and I'll still hit a roach 

And I'll still see roaches at the crib where my folks at 

Touch your dreams 'fore you touch me and provoke a man 

(Somebody gonna have to tell the truth and I'm gonna tell it!) 

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to 

(How I used to) 

(I don't matter) 

And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to 

(How I used to, how) 

(I don't matter) 

How I, how I, how I, how I 

How I used to, how I used to 

How I used to